Great Job, Granny V!
I initially felt disappointed when there were not enough participants for the Personal Growth Course I was scheduled to teach it at Arise Family Centre. Only two ladies showed up for the first scheduled class last week, so instead of using notebooks, whiteboards and therapeutic techniques, we pulled up chairs and chatted.
I knew one lady well. I spent a good amount of time with Granny V before. Last year, when she shared her story, she was in the throes of heartache with her grandchildren. Granny V’s daughter was in and out of jail as a result of her drug addiction, and her grandchildren had already lived through too much. Granny V was raising her 12-year old grandson and 5-year old granddaughter. Even when she tried to keep her daughter and her dangerous boyfriends away, they would sleep on the front porch and bring extraordinary confusion to the children. While we met for family support counselling last year, Granny V was begging for help because her grandson was staying out too late in the evenings in their very dangerous community. He was ridden with anger and refused to maintain his household responsibilities - or even come home. He had seen his younger sister being raped at 3-years old by his mom’s boyfriend, and there was no safe place in his hurting world. Granny V didn’t have a safe place either. She had faith in Jesus, but not much else to hold onto. At the time, she was sleeping on the floor and trying to rescue her grandchildren from the path their mother had chosen. She felt perpetually overwhelmed. Besides that, she is illiterate and could not support or enforce what her grandson was doing in school. She would have to rely solely on him to help with her suffering granddaughter’s schoolwork as well. She had persistent leg pain and mobility was decreasing rapidly. Every detail she shared seemed to make the pit of despair deeper.
Pictures from Arise’s current Raising Superheroes course. Check out their facebook page for more photos and info.
Last year, we imparted family-strengthening skills and positive identity messages to Granny V and her grandson in an award-winning course we created called Raising Superheroes. When I met with her individually, it was only for a few short sessions, so I did my best to equip her. I spoke Truth over her from God’s Word, and we talked about things like boundaries and how to build a relationship with her grandson. We addressed one thing and one Truth at a time. We reached one goal per week. After that, she joined the weekly Family Forum support group at Arise and attended faithfully.
We spent a beautiful morning together catching up when we couldn’t have class last week. She shared that her daughter was no longer living with her. She had taken what she learned at Arise and laid firm boundaries in her household. Her grandson wasn’t staying out late anymore, and they were beginning to build routine and relationship in their household. She’d been given a bed, and even her granddaughter was showing signs of improvement. When I asked why she wanted to come to class that day, Granny V’s despair came back and she said that her grandson didn’t want to bathe, take care of himself or do his chores.
I CELEBRATED! “That’s a normal kid problem, Granny!!! You’re doing great!” It took some time to explain… She didn’t know what was a “normal problem” and what was the result of trauma and devastation. We retraced our footsteps until she could see how far she had come. We celebrated every boundary she put in place and each victory she had achieved through implementing new skills. She was really doing it. She was showing up and putting it to work. There was real transformation in Granny V’s family.
Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at how far we’ve come. In the middle of the unending “problems”, we don’t realise we are actually going strength the strength and glory to glory.
If this year’s problems are different than last year’s, you might just have a reason to celebrate. If you’re showing up and putting those hard lessons to work, you’re probably stronger. You’re probably glowing with a little bit of glory that you just don’t want to miss.
Our goal in this lifetime isn’t to solve all the problems. We’ll never get there, but there sure is a lot of glory in the journey. Granny V and I rejoiced at the end of our catch-up session. I was able to tell her, “You’re doing a great job!” She was able to redefine her perspective and celebrate her family’s strength. Her despair was rewritten to renewed strength. Granny V needs continuous prayers and support, and she is faithfully being empowered by Arise. Granny V will soar on wings like eagles. She is learning to lead her family to run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint.
Great Job, Granny V!