Praise Meat
On Sunday night we sat in our living room with two cooing babies, a toddler with her art supplies, and a couple of couches full of real people. One woman had left her husband that morning after learning that the adulterous relationship from 2013 was still active. Another woman came late because she had a sick child and has been entangled in the boughs of an unbearably oppressive home life. Another family is getting ready to welcome baby #3 into the world and has no idea where this baby's car seat or crib will fit into their very compact life.
Tears were wiped, prayers were prayed, Psalms were read, and Truth was spoken. We came around a few very real stories in our very real lives. Together, we found redemption in the aftermath of some and assurance that it would come for those who were still deep in their pits. Devastating battles with depression, anxiety, and medications that go with them surfaced. Heart cries for a divorce to just be finalized to sever years of pain we’re voiced - taboo topics in a lot of the Christian and church world.
We found the same battles in David's journey through the psalms. The first psalm is a beautiful and practical praise song. Follow God, and things will go well with you. Then, after just one chapter... life. Real, down and dirty life. Life with mistakes, miracles, magnificence, abuse, fear, adultery, delight, disaster, depression, anxiety, anointing, celebrating, suicidal thoughts, betrayals, hiding, battling, dancing, isolation, marriage, babies, death, healing and promises. After a 150 chapter journey of real life, (mostly David's), the book of Psalms ends with real, meaty praise. So much substance you have to chew it. There's nothing practical about his reckless, rowdy worship. There's also nothing naive about it. David lived real life, and he decided to end the book with worship.
We've been going through some real life over here. Legal issues, health issues, financial issues... you name the issue, we've probably got it. Instead of being the put-together church planter type that WE ARE NOT, we decided to show our cards on Sunday night. We're in the middle of the book and happen to be in one of those desperate heart cry chapters.
A mom in the room said, "This is such confirmation about what this church is going to be. This is what people need. I feel guilty if I do something Christians aren't supposed to do - even if I just think a negative thought. Imagine how much we need this. Especially Cape Town."
A father bouncing a baby on his leg looked up with eyes that know and spoke profoundly. Their first daughter died when she was 3-years old. The church they were attending at the time offered no support; they didn't know anyone else in the city; and his wife had their second child two weeks before the first passed away. On Sunday night he said, "We fasted and prayed, and we did everything you do. We read our Bible, and we asked God to heal her. And she died anyway. But you just have to know that, no matter what, Jesus died for me. Our baby is safe now, and she's happy. And Jesus died for me. No matter what: Jesus. You just have to decide to call His Name. It's all you can do."
There's no meatier, chewier, real praise than a dad going between two hospital rooms - one full of death and one full of life- sleeping in his car if he ever had a moment. And choosing Jesus.
Sometimes it feels too hard to breathe.
If it feels like God's not answering you, you might feel betrayed, lonely, angry or depressed. But what is the alternative?
We choose to believe and have something to hope for when we get to the final chapter.
Or we don't. And then we're guaranteed to have nothing anyway.
So many of us are in one of those hard chapters now. We need each other to help us decide to choose Jesus. If you can't decide from your pit, find someone to call His Name for you. It still counts.
And what a gloooooorious day it's going to be when we get to that final chapter... the real, meaty praise. The praise that has had the option to let go, has seen how ugly life can get in the pit God never wanted you to see, has faced doubt and despair, and comes out knowing. Not knowing what you should do but knowing who God is. He is good. Even in the middle of the night, He is good.
And then…
We finished off that powerful night the only responsible way. We taught the group how to do Tim Tam slams! Hallelujah and Amen all in one bite! You’ve gotta have dessert after all that praise meat.