How I'm dealing with homesickness
I LOVE Cape Town! I love South Africa! I love living here with my family.
And I haven’t seen my mom or sis in almost five years. Many people who have played intricate roles in shaping me have never met my children. With a global pandemic in full throttle, 4th of July snuck by me this year and social isolation is kicking my homesickness into high gear.
We use the term “manage yourself” a lot in our family. Lifa learned it early in life. “If you are unable to manage yourself, we will mange you. You are going to take a nap now.” If Chris or I get over-tired, over-emotional, over-anything, we call it: “I”m having trouble managing myself. I’m going to... have a snack... A nap... A time-out.” I’m currently managing my homesick feelings with a multi-faceted approach. I’ll give you my Tuesday night and Wednesday night endeavors this week. (Both were effective.)
Tuesday’s Tactic: Celebrate the home you have!
Chris was coming in from work just in time for dinner. The boys and I got the house cleaned. (Lifa and I cleaned while Benjamin uncleaned, but it was 2 against 1 this time.) I prepared a beautiful, healthy meal, spread out a fresh table cloth, and had Lifa set the table with nice dinnerware (jars as drinking glasses instead of plastic cups!) I turned on relaxing music and lit a candle on the table. Chris just had to walk in and sit down in a peace-filled environment. It was so fun to take a few extra steps, be intentional and celebrate the beautiful home and family we had. Lifa kept asking what we were celebrating when I made him pull out the mason jars, and I said, “TUESDAY! We’re celebrating dinner together on a Tuesday night!”
Wednesday’s Tactic: Go Easy. Go American.
We were dropping off a dinner for friends this afternoon, and Benjamin decided to wake up extra early and extra tired. By 6:30am, I had the 2nd load of laundry in, and he was resting his head on my back in his carrier while I prepped dinner. Chris’ last meeting went extra long, so he wasn’t going to be home for our usual dinnertime. I broke all my own rules and hosted a very relaxed, all-American night for my boys. Lifa had his first encounters with Frito pie and America’s Funniest Home Videos. He said it was the best meal of his life, and Chris walked in to find America’s Funniest Home Videos on and shouted, “This is the best show EVER!” We reminisced about Bob Saget while Lifa licked his bowl clean. It was a really sweet evening, and good for the soul to change the flow and laugh really hard at people falling down. I even made sweet potato brownies, and served everybody two!
There was no time to take a picture with a full bowl of Frito pie.
I’m ok with missing my family because it means I really, really love them. I’m ok with not being ok with not seeing them because God made me in His image, and He is just and loving. On the days I don’t feel ok with the circumstances, I try to remember this life and these circumstances are fleeting. When that doesn’t make me feel any better, I use the creativity God shaped me with and find a way to manage myself and bless the family I get to live this beautiful everyday life with.