The Truth Is....
Here is an article I wrote for Help Club for Moms while we were studying God’s truth for marriage. I am a better wife and stronger in my identity in Christ because of this incredible community. My whole house is grateful! If you are a mama, go to www.helpclubformoms.com to subscribe and get encouragement sent straight to you!
My husband and I have a great “story”. We still laugh at its quirks and relish in God’s faithfulness when we tell others how we met and married. The details of our first encounters are not really our “story”, however. A story is written page by page and day by day. Too often since our magical beginning, I have compared what I thought marriage would be to how I feel in the ins and outs of daily life. When I think about it now, I can see how many unrealized expectations I had of my husband and our marriage. I wanted what the Christian world often makes us think we should have - a constantly encouraging and affectionate relationship that is full of love, laughter and romance day in and day out. But somebody still has to take out the trash and fold the laundry!
I didn’t leave space for our shortcomings or the unavoidable stressors of life. My feelings were often hurt, and my expectations set us both up to fail. All I could see was the discrepancy from our very God-ordained beginning to our daily battles in parenting, health issues, loneliness, and communication struggles. Sometimes the pressure built up so high, we couldn’t even be in the same kitchen together! Dear mama, if you have ever felt a sense of loss, hurt or anger because things were not what you thought they would be in your marriage, you are not alone. But take heart, you don’t have to stay where you are!
God has changed me profoundly over the last year that I have been a part of the Help Club for Moms. My husband has even noticed it! I’ve read powerful encouragment about being a loving wife, prayed with friends, and shared respectfully with other women. I noticed a big change this morning as I flipped through journal entries. One year ago today, I was in great despair over disappointment in our marriage. My journal entry, however, was not a catalogue of how my husband had hurt me or fears regarding our future. It was a prayer for healing for my heart and weaknesses in our marriage. Sentence after sentence started with, “The truth is....” In that entry and countless others, I went to battle against my feelings and for our marriage. I have developed the habit of proclaiming what the truth is rather than what I feel. Mama, we do not have to give our feelings the authority to shape our realities!
Next time disappointment or hurt bears itself in your marriage, try proclaiming to God, yourself, and maybe even your husband what the truth is rather than how you feel in that moment. I have a deeper love for my husband and greater faith in our marriage than I ever have because I’ve rooted myself in God’s truth for us.
Some of my truth statements from my journal are:
The truth is that God is for my marriage. If He is for us, nothing can stand against us.
The truth is that my husband loves me sacrificially every day.
The truth is he is so patient with me when I waver.
The truth is that neither of us are perfect, but he stays committed to me in the midst of it all.
The truth is our union is more important than my feelings.
The truth is we are better together.