Even on poopy pants days
Benjamin has been socially distanced for 11 of his (almost) 22 months of life. For HALF of his life, he has only interacted with masked adults. We tested the waters at a very small, absolutely wonderful play school for two mornings this week to help him socialize and unlatch from his mama jsut a smidge. (But please, only a smidge.) Teacher Shayne’s school reminds me of my mom’s Play and Learn School, and it’s the perfect environment for our little Jam. I stay with him for now to help him adjust.
This morning, we only made it an hour and a half before he started (rudely) screaming "BYE" at everyone. It was the only time he spoke to them. Poor little guy. We left, and he crashed in my arms for two hours. We’re both still recovering from Covid. I am still wrestling with deep fatigue and general yuckiness, and he occasionally spikes a fever and has a runny tummy.
Today I was operating at about 43%. Benjamin was at about 68%. And Lifa’s basketball crashed through a window while our house was full of church people coming and going. Chris was tucked into his office trying to work. We got the glass cleaned, people fed, and glass replaced. I texted Chris (from the next room), put my people in the car and got outta there.
We live ten minutes away from Kirstenbosch - one of the great botanic gardens of the world. We have a season pass, and it is pure magic. It’s my go-to. It’s stunning, safe, and you can find a new adventure every time you go.
As soon as we got too far from the car to turn back, Jam pooped his pants. You know what I did? I just let him walk around with poop in his pants. You can judge me if you want. I’m just keeping it real over here.
His pants were full of poop, but he was a happy boy. We walked up and up and up for the whole 4’o clock fussy hour. The fresh air, sound of brothers laughing, and the beauty of God’s creation was like water for my soul. I took picture after picture. I probably have a literal 1,000 pictures of my children at Kirstenbosh.
But I wanted to capture what my heart was seeing. Today, there were a lot of emotions, a little bit of chaos, stress, exhaustion, and a diaper full of poop. I could have got stuck on all of that, but, in the grand scheme of things, my problems today were minimal. Even when Benjamin kicked, screamed, and tantrumed all the way out of the otherwise tranquil gardens. He came home with bloody knees from falling on them so many times in rebellious outbursts.
Poopy pants. Scraped knees. Mortified teenage brother. The whole shebang.
It was a real life day. And the perfect kind of day to help me remember God is so big. I am so small. Some days are poopy pants days, but those days are valuable too.
