With Grace and Grit

It's still raining! We're still in lockdown! We're getting creative - and using A LOT of exclamation points!!!

Day 1 of this rainy lockdown was verrrrrrry long. That night, I knew things were going to have to be different - for the good of the people. Life looks different right now, so we have to live it differently. We have much larger workloads than than we did during our first lockdown, and both kids have very different interests and needs. And also... RAIN.

God dropped the words "grace and grit" into my spirit when I asked for His wisdom. I tiptoed to my quiet morning space with a hot cup of coffee at 4am one rainy morning and got to work, seeking Him and looking into these words He had placed on my heart.

I learned from the research of Angela Duckworth that grit is defined as “passion and perseverance for long-term goals.” It's essentially living life like it's a marathon and not a sprint. You’re not a bystander, and you keep the prize in mind. Grit is a better predictor of success than IQ and gives you the stamina to stay the course amidst challenges and setbacks. We all need that!

Paul the apostle was gritty! Despite imprisonment, torture, suffering, snake bits, stoning and more, he says, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12 NIV

We all need a little grit. Our setbacks make us stronger, like resistance training. The heavier the weights are, the stronger you get. James 1:2-4 actually tells you to consider your struggles and setbacks joy because they are your ticket to be "not lacking in anything" including spiritual maturity and inner peace.

But what about grace? We strive and work for grit, but grace is available BECAUSE we are weak. It multiplies in our weakness.

“My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.” So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I’m weak I sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in me." 2 Cor 12:9

I love this definition of grace.

"Grace is love that seeks you out when you have nothing to give in return. Grace is love coming at you that has nothing to do with you. Grace is being loved when you are unlovable…

Grace is irrational in the sense that it has nothing to do with weights and measures. It has nothing to do with my intrinsic qualities or so-called “gifts” (whatever they may be). It reflects a decision on the part of the giver, the one who loves, in relation to the receiver, the one who is loved, that negates any qualifications the receiver may personally hold…. Grace is one-way love." -One-Way Love: Inexhaustible Grace for an Exhausted World, Tullian Tchividjian.

Here's the cool thing God showed me: True grit develops in the presence of grace. It's once you've encountered Grace Himself that your long-term goals change from this fleeting lifetime to eternity and the eternity's of your descendants. It's once you know Grace that you understand your purpose and your passions can bloom fully.

Grace makes you need grit because suddenly you see your life matters. You have purpose, a hope and a future. And you've got work to do!

So what do we do? Let's get practical. Go get a pen and paper.

Write these questions down, grab a cup of coffee, and take some time to answer them for yourself. Then put them to work!

The Big Picture First

1. What matters to me in the big picture of my life?

2. Who do I want to be at the end of my life?

3. What season of life am I in? Name it! (My examples: Lockdown Level 4, Help Club ministry developing, or mom of young kids)

4. Who do I want to be at the end of this season?

Here's where it gets good. Take your answer for who you want to be at the end of this season, and ask yourself these questions.

Grace

1. What expectation of myself or others can I let go of?

2. What disappointment can I let go of?

3. How can I give free, one-way love to someone else?

Grit

1. What is worth pushing for?

2. What is one thing I want to do more of?

3. What is one thing I want to do less of?

Now, choose at least one of those goals above and get specific.

For me, during this lockdown, I've realized it just doesn't work to let the days go by without taking extra time to put structure, plans and activities for the day. I have to adjust my expectations to get work done only after 7pm, and have put some ground rules in place. Lifa can only watch TV after 7pm when Chris and I are both working, and he must read his Bible and come downstairs for breakfast with his brother by 7:30am. He’s got some money-making incentives that include car-washing (IF it stops raining), Scripture memorization and books to read. On days it's not raining, I go outside and exercise at 7:30 while they eat, and then we put whatever I have planned for the day into action. There's much less time for communicating with people outside of this house, and I'm living on coffee fumes. But it's working, and it's worth it. This grit I’m building is building it in my kids, dispensing grace throughout our house, and building memories.

(There are also still 4,000 tantrums a day - and some are by me. But, we are giving it our best!)

What about you?

Here’s the teaching I did this week on this topic specifically for moms in lockdown. They include my practical examples at the end.