Join me in a conversation with Deb Weakly from Help Club for Moms. Deb is a long-time friend, and she invited me to share about my journey in special needs parenting to offer encouragement to moms all over the world. I’m very much still in the trenches, learning the hard way, and even shared that I had completely lost my cool on Benjamin an hour before we started recording! But we so often find God together, and in those valley lessons of learning to worship anyway.

Maybe this is a chat you can relate to, or maybe it’s one to share with a friend who can.

I love how Wyatt holds his dad's hand so he can gallop with more velocity. I love how Lifa starts a game of Croc rugby when we go to the only place in Cape Town that doesn't allow balls. I love how Benjamin wheeze-laughs and screams, "I LOVE THIS" when his big brother ankle taps him and knocks him out. I love how Wyatt throws himself on the ground after Benjamin gets tackled to feel like he's part of the game. I love how Lifa can fish for tadpoles and still look like a model. I especially love the handsome man that holds us all together with his incredibly intentional, kind, and discerning love.

My husband and I went on an evening walk a while ago. We rehashed a painful season we'd traversed in the previous months and marked how God had used it for our good. The conversation went deeper as we turned a familiar corner in our neighborhood. Yes, we have successfully navigated external hardships... but what about the ones woven into our family DNA? My husband worried aloud,"Your personality has changed. You were so bubbly... laughing all the time.. and now I can see how heavy life is on you." I conceded that the relentless spiritual warfare, crippling corruption, decade of distance from family, and special needs parenting has dug deep, rugged trenches in my formerly light disposition.

Yesterday was my husband's 42nd birthday. The kids and I threw him a lemonade-themed birthday party at home. I set a beautiful table with a freshly-ironed tablecloth and a vase full of lemons. We had strawberry lemonade with dinner and went back for seconds of lemon cake and ice cream. He even had to hunt for his homemade gifts in a basket of lemons! It was silly and simple. We talked about the meaning behind our celebration during dinner between giggles and our toddler's frighteningly man-like belches.

We celebrated our favorite guy's birthday yesterday with a lemonade-themed birthday party. When 41 throws lemons, you make lemonade in 42!

We had lemon decorations, a homemade gift hunt in a basket of lemons, strawberry lemonade, and lemon cake and ice cream. It was silly, sweet, and the most purposed celebration we have ever had.

One of the most valuable currencies in the Ladd family is power. The first thing Wyatt says when he wakes up is, “I have power to play!” When the little boys feel they have eaten enough, they flex their muscles to prove they have sufficiently refueled their power supplies.

We had a BEAUTIFUL morning at Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens this morning. We were given a tour of a textiles exhibition, went on a short hike and fished for tadpoles with our bare hands. When it was time to head out, Benjamin’s legs buckled under him and emotion overcame him.

I did a ridiculous thing. I ordered a walking pad to use for five days and return. I can explain. (A walking pad is a treadmill without handles to slide under a desk and walk while you work.)

My husband went out of town for EIGHT days. Our two youngest sons only attend school a few hours in the morning and struggled with Dad being away….

I don’t always want to be the mom that has to turbo-pack the car and kids, ready to hit the road by 7:30am for an outing I make up on the fly. I don’t always want to pack PBJs and snack boxes on repeat.

I wish I had more compassion and patience. I wish I could stay steadier while trying to operate as my son’s external nervous system because his doesn’t do its job. I wish transitions and life in general were easier for him and, consequentially, for us too.

It's 2025! May God bless you as you walk with Him and worship Him this year! I am beginning the year with grateful reflection. I will be sharing some of my favorite call to worships from the past during the month of January. Today's was originally sent on January 7, 2022.

The summer sun burned extra hot this December 25th in Cape Town. Our family is in the middle of transitions and growing pains. Still… joy and abundance were thick on Christmas Day. It was a perfect Ladd-style celebration: full throttle, high energy, and fit for a King. We gathered close on the couch and gave thanks in front of a breathtaking spread of presents. It was, of course, the King’s presence that ushered in the kind of joy that sticks beyond circumstances…

Want to hear some good news!?!

Two week ago, we put out a big ask with a LOT of prayer. It will cost $13,400 to send our boys to school in 2025. We need help to make that happen - we explain why in this video. The good news... Lifa and Wyatt’s school fees are covered IN FULL! We are over halfway there.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17

These two boys (and the tagalong little brother) excavate the edges of their creativity, bravery, strengths and weaknesses in the security of an unbreakable friendship. That’s how God designed it. You become the fullest version of yourself and experience the fullest version of Him in the context of accepting, loving relationships.

Our five-year old son has been talking about his end of year school concert for months. I took my seat in the concert hall this week, shouldering months of subconscious dread. His preschool is for children with special needs. I feared the toll performance pressure would take on the kids, overstimulation, and unlimited unknowns. I was overcome with the sheer possibility of our son feeling like he was physically unable to do something he really wanted to do, a familiar kind of torment.

Five years ago, I stepped into our front garden with a baby strapped to my chest. Rented tables with homemade placemats were set for 60. We served an American Thanksgiving dinner to our South African guests, choosing to give thanks while we didn't know our family's next steps. My husband and I relished in a garden full of laughter and warmth that day, never pausing to even taste the meal.

We ate leftover pumpkin pie in our garage late that night. It was a delicious and sacred moment, our own Thanksgiving faith-building feast when we didn't know what tomorrow held.

I haven’t been online much this week because life has been extra full of normal life stuff. I just haven’t prioritized posting it. I’m pausing this evening before I put down my phone for the night to re-watch, remember and take a deep inhale of this rich, beautiful, sometimes normal and sometimes not life God has given me…

I've lived in Cape Town for almost eight years. That's the longest I've lived anywhere since I was 18. We got dealt a few hard blows upon arrival in the city we left everything for... so hard my stomach twisted in knots at the sight of that big, beautiful Table Mountain.

Eight years later, I've learned to love this city through the lens of special needs parenting and "a church to call home, a family to call our own". I know how the weather changes based on what side of the mountain you're on, to check tide times and wind speeds, and how to navigate the traffic.

My birthday started with Chris, coffee and Jesus before the sun came up. Then we were whisked away to an extravagant, picture perfect breakfast with church family. The family had homemade (and sugar free!) ice cream cake in the sunshine after naps, and then the boys and I took a quick trip to the beach. It was a dream day that ended with a pile of chicken nuggets and bedtime stories. I’d say it doesn’t get any better than this.

I am continually amazed by the joy of the Lord springing up unexpectedly and faithfully through the zigs and zags of life. I feel surrounded by Him and blessed by so many. Thank YOU for being a part of my life!

I begin my “40’s” today. I remember thinking life had peaked at 17 when I was my high school’s head cheerleader. Then again, at 21, when I was one signature away from a dream job after graduating university at the top of my class... And then I heard God speak.

He spoke from the ashes of my childhood home, surrounded by the charred remains of every physical marker of life to that point. His words were the beginning of climbing down the ladder of success as the world might see it. I declined my job offer and took out my very first student loan. I drove a moving truck across the country on my 22nd birthday and enrolled in seminary to study Marriage and Family Therapy.

Earlier this week, I asked Wyatt if he wanted to run to the soccer field like his “baba” (Benjamin). He kept his pudgy little hand gripped firmly on mine and told me, “No, Mama. Baba’s five. I’m two. Hold my hand.” And that was the most sensible thing I’ve heard all week.

Time is our most precious commodity. It’s the only thing we don’t get back or earn on a success ladder. It’s in the very human concept of time that God creates space for the rhythm of relationships.