Ruby the Glowing Reindeer
LADD FAMILY MILESTONE:
This is the first Christmas in the history of the Ladd family that we'll all be in the same country!
In previous years, we have taken Lifa to visit his biological father for the holiday. It became apparent over the last holiday that we needed to do some adjusting so our super-kid and our family could thrive.
Lifa turns 10… TEN… on December 29th. The idea of spending Christmas and his birthday together as a family is almost too much to handle. Lifa is spontaneously exploding into dance moves from pulsing excitement. (And, apparently, being almost-10 makes public dancing deplorable.)
In two days, Lifa’s father will board the fanciest, memory foam recliner Greyhound has to offer and begin a 24-hour journey to Cape Town. He will spend two weeks with us, experiencing Lifa’s life as a part of our family. He will see Lifa’s room, watch him practice guitar, play Legos, ride bikes, walk the dogs, see Lifa’s school, and experience what an incredible young man Lifa is.
We’ve spent the past two weeks preparing ourselves: Lifa’s worked through a long list of chores. We’ve decorated our house and a Christmas bush. Our stockings are sticky-tacked by the chimney with care. We’ve carefully unraveled fantastical expectations, explaining that his dad’s visit to our house won’t be the same as when Lifa goes to visit his dad. Lifa will still have a bedtime, rules, and we will still be in charge.
As Lifa and I drove around Cape Town running a jillion errands this week, I apologized for becoming the mom my childhood self swore I would never be: “Just one more stop, and we’re going home.” Repeat 36x before actually going home. While we drove, I asked Lifa what he was most excited about for Christmas morning. He had no idea.
He nervously began to explain he didn’t really know what you do on Christmas or for birthdays because he’s never had a family Christmas or gotten to choose what to do for his birthday.
I talked our almost-10-year old son through Christmas mornings, traditions, and birthdays. He could not believe you don’t even have to eat breakfast before you open presents! I quickly realized there was too much good for him grasp any of it.
Chris suggested Lifa make a list of Christmas wishes, and I took him to Toys R Us for ideas. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. We left an hour later with no list, no understanding – he had only constructed a plan on how much chore money he needed to save to buy his two favorite toys.
It's only natural that an angel would have a moustache like Dad's.
I talked our almost-10-year old son through Christmas mornings, traditions, and birthdays. He could not believe you don’t even have to eat breakfast before you open presents!
Chris suggested Lifa make a list of Christmas wishes, and I took him to Toys R Us for ideas. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. We left an hour later with no list, no understanding – he had only constructed a plan on how much chore money he needed to save to buy his two favorite toys.
We’ve been blasting Christmas music through the house since Thanksgiving. Lifa has always loved singing along to music and realized this year that he’s missing a piece of childhood that other kids have: Christmas songs. I’ve been trying to help him catch up, explaining the words and playing songs on repeat. He wants to know it learn it all at once, and now he’s rocking around the house singing about a “Holly-Wolly Christmas” and "Ruby the Glowing Reindeer”. (Who comes up with these silly words and names anyway!?!)
Lifa has only begun to grasp what family is since we’ve moved to Cape Town and minimized the unknowns, unsafes, and undones in his life. We finally have the security of being his legal guardians, have established him within the government school system, and can help him turn fears into victories.
We are all born into one family story or another. But today we are counting down to celebrate the birth of the boy Who came and died so that we could all live in a free, forever family. A family whose songs are worth knowing and living by. So we keep practicing until it comes naturally.
As I wrote this, Lifa munched on his second lunch and asked, “Hey Mom, why do we give?” “I don’t know. Why?” “Because God gave us Jesus.”
He’s learning the words to the songs, remembering the Truth we teach him, and figuring out his own “Lifa style”. (Long songs, anything camo, and joggers all day long.) But this boy who teaches me second-lunch lessons about giving cannot fathom a Christmas morning, can only think about what he should make for his dad during his own birthday party, and has hardly dipped his toes into the ocean of love His Savior and his family have for him.
He’s limited by his life experiences, but that won’t stop us. We are celebrating the manger birth of The Way, The Truth and The Life this year… and we have stockings!
Lifa has no expectations for Christmas morning. I’m loaded with them.
I dream of Lifa and his biological father encountering love and belonging like they’ve never known – not because of the carefully thought out gifts under the Christmas bush. Because they are ours, and they’ll never not be ours. Because we will keep teaching them the songs, the family, and the freely-given love for all of their days.
Please join us on social media as we write an epic chapter into Ladd Family history. Lifa’s dad has never seen a city, an ocean or a mountain. He’s going to experience his son in an entirely new way along with new sights, smells, tastes and adventure!