Why I Joined the Gym
I was a single missionary for my first five years in South Africa. I lived in a volatile and largely unpoliced part of the nation, and the window of opportunities seemed very small for this independent, adventure-loving lady. I eventually adapted to living behind security bars, not driving at night, and other new-life nuances.
And then it just stopped working. Three years in, I hit rock bottom.
Nothing had changed around me, but my resiliency was rapidly declining. My barred windows had cracks and crowbar indentions. Five cars had been stolen from the property I lived on, not including my four stolen tires. Crime and violence were so prevalent I could not safely walk down the driveway on my own.
Those security bars became my cage. I wanted to fly away, but there was nowhere safe to go. I had no options.
I could not stay in my cage. I could not go out and fly freely. I had a choice to make.
I had to accept that my wings had been wounded and let an airplane do the flying to take me back to America. OR I had to create an option when no obvious ones were available. I had to find a way to not be a victim in these circumstances, no matter how dangerous they actually were.
There was a little boy who called me Mom and could not leave the nation, so things felt exponentially more complicated for me than others I had seen who had reached their capacity and let an airplane fly them away.
My body felt unsafe, and it had shaken me to the core. As a last ditch effort, I decided to take charge of a different element of my body in effort to walk in the opposite spirit.
In 2013, I downloaded the MyFitnessPal app on my Blackberry and started tracking calories. I set a weight loss goal, not because I wanted to lose weight, but because I needed to create a way to win. I needed to be in control of something in an out of control world, to do something for my good when everything seemed against me.
Counting calories started as a mildly stressful task, but quickly became a secret vortex of strength, power and discipline. Disorder did not subside around me, but I had one thing to bring order to. I had multiple opportunities to win in a day and could even measure the victory!
One win led to a desire for more. Suddenly I could see more opportunities to win. I bought a scale and started changing how I ate. A world of creativity opened up to me from my mini-fridge as I learned how to prepare healthy, nurturing meals. I realized I had just enough floor space to do jumping jacks, push-ups and sit-ups. So I did.
Movement motivated me. Although I couldn’t walk down our driveway, I could power-walk a million tiny circles around the houses on our property. I looked absolutely ridiculous, but I bought a pedometer and learned something about spiritual discipline with every step I took.
Over time, my thoughts turned away from limitations and toward possibilities. I found a website called Fitness Blender, purchased a set of dumbbells, and turned that little floor space into a home gym, learning as I went about different exercises, muscle groups and movements for the first time.
After about a year and a half of that, I joined the local gym. I weighed about 20 pounds less that I had the year before and had a strong, ready core to build some muscle onto. Mentally, spiritually and physically.
For the past three years, I’ve maintained a steady discipline of strength training. I have never stopped going to the gym or tracking my nutrition. (I've switched to an iPhone for tracking though!) I’m not obsessed with my weight – I am at my all-time healthiest!!! – but I’m committed to the spiritual discipline I learned and the personal value system it wrote in me. Lifelong health problems have been reversed and a new value system has been written. My body is a living testimony that we can be made new in a very practical partnership with our Creator.
Above are comparison photos from December 2012 and December 2017. We've both changed!
I'll never be convinced that you don’t have an option to climb out of your deepest pit when you have access to the hand of God reaching down for you.
After eight years in South Africa, our family’s individual and collective stories could bewilder the average listener. We’ve known danger, trials and terrors that you just don’t tell your mom about. (Don’t worry about it Sherry and Rosa!)
But can I tell you how strong our cores have become in the journey!?!
No matter the hardship, I cling to the testimony that led me to join the gym. I looked at it, and defiantly took a step in the opposite spirit.
And then I took another one.
My God trusted me with hopelessness, danger, uncertainty and devastation, so my core would be strong enough to raise a very special young man and build His Home on earth.
Lifa and I celebrated Mother's Day 2015 with a family workout and a proper muscle flexing session. We cooked a healthy meal, and I gave thanks that this kid would be raised by a whole new mom.
Today I am going to the gym and celebrating that 2013’s rock bottom became freedom’s launch pad.
I am praying for the one reading this who can’t see an option. There is one. Seek it, and take one simple step toward it. Join a gym, extend forgiveness to someone, or use the money you’d spend on one cup of coffee to pay toward your debt this month. Just do one thing.
Find that impossible place and defy it. With God, all things are possible.