The Boy With The Eyebrows
He shaved slashed lines through his eyebrows
He never wears the actual school uniform.
He comes into a room, and the room responds.
Photo published by News 24
I could go on and on describing the big, tough, intimidating presence in the inner-city class I’m teaching. And then I’d watch your face change when I told you he is only 13. The last five weeks has been quite a journey with Arise Cape Town. I’ve been going into a high school into an impoverished, gang-/drug-infested area of town to work with 8th and 9th grade boys who’ve been identified as “needing an intervention” for their anger problems.
The boy with the eyebrows was in my small group on the first day. He immediately began poking at a classmate, trying to get him to share first. I thought he was bullying but was amazed at what unfolded before me on day one. The boy with the eyebrows was actually advocating for his classmate to have a voice. This boy had recently moved into a shelter due to wildly unsafe conditions in his own home and needed a safe space to talk about the horrors of what happens inside the shelters.
The slashed eyebrows arched over emotion-filled eyes while my too-tough group member lamented for this classmate. Eyebrows continued opened up with such shocking compassion and gentleness for our first few weeks of group.
Then something changed. I have no idea what it was. Over the course of our first few weeks, the school changed the bell schedule and created mass confusion, one group member got stabbed in the hand, and a mid-week Muslim holiday led to low attendance. And something happened with the boy with eyebrows.
He came in on week four with an icy attitude. Shoulders up, positioned to protect himself in whatever means necessary. Eyes covered, and as defiant as he could get away with under my very direct guidance. Instead of egging on the group to share, he did the opposite. He went out of his way to distract, divide and keep the group from running.
Week five was worse. Finally, I was ready for a throw down. In our small group, I asked him if he still wanted to be there with us. He tried his best to maintain disinterest and disrespect while he shrugged his shoulders and half-nodded yes. I was about to let it rip. (Fine, I’ll admit it. The 13-year old boys with eyebrows got to me. It wasn’t my best moment.)
Right as I was about to roar and tell him what life was really about, the Holy Spirit gave me a little flick between my own eyebrows. He reminded me of the whole purpose we were doing that group.
We changed this group last year from an anger management group to a positive self-identity development group. These boys didn’t want to be treated like an anger problem to be solved. When they were given the opportunity to decide what they want to be known for and make a plan on how to become that, everything changed. They suddenly saw potential in themselves to be great, and no longer wanted to succumb to their outraged reactions.
I let my mouth hang open for a minute while I reformed my sentences, and then I l spoke to the side of the boy with the eyebrows that was facing me. I said, “Did you know that you have incredible influence?”
Photo published by UCT News
I suspect the slashed eyebrows rose under the beanie as I noticed his body shifting just a teensy bit. I continued, “Whenever you walk into a room, the whole room notices and becomes more like whatever you bring into it. When you come in with joy and are smiling, the room smiles and becomes better. When you come in with anger, fear or wanting to distract, the room changes for the worst. You are made to be a leader, and you already have more influence on everyone around you than you probably even realize.”
He refused to look up, but he was eating up this fresh information about himself.
For the remainder of our time together, I spoke into the boy God had placed before me. Without response or acknowledgement, I spoke his strengths and goodness over him. I taught him the responsibility he has with his strengths to “use his powers for good.” I spoke as much hope and potential as I could squeeze into our short time over him, and I know he received it.
I hope he learned something about himself during that group. I know that I did. I was reminded about the power and potential in every single person God created, no matter their presentation or their past. No matter their circumstances or even how they treat you. What if we started speaking to the strengths when weakness and its ugly manifestations rear their unwelcomed heads? All we have to do is start with the one God has placed before us.
Imagine if this is how we responded in our homes, families, and even when we look in the mirror.
Depravity dies when we deplete it of oxygen. Let’s call out Christ in others, not depravity. Where depravity is thick, we’ve got a lot of life-speaking to do. Who has God placed before you today? Even if you never get eye contact.