Stockpiling Glory
We are the Ladd Family. We sold everything and moved to Africa to serve people. We leap over tall buildings and save people all.day.long. THE WORLD recently wrote us a letter and said, “Thank you for changing me.”
None of that is true.
Most days, we do a lot of what you do. Only it takes us a lot longer. Like a trip to the grocery store… you don’t even know.
That haircut day. Everybody was too tired to wait for dinner to be cooked.
Last week, I sat in our bedroom and confessed to Chris that I felt overwhelmed by daily life. I’m stubborn and overactive, and I just can’t come to terms with having less energy and more things to do in the third trimester of pregnancy. Pluswe’re in the big leagues here with 6th grade. There’s all the projects, taxi-momming and dinner-making to do in the midst of trying to disciple, gather people, and plan a church launch. And we have puppies! They need walks. And what about exercise? And all the groceries keep getting eaten every. single. week.
Here’s what it came down to: When I feel overwhelmed about how to make it through a Monday, I seriously doubt my capacity to impact the world.
We are compelled by purpose - deep, rich and meaningful. It’s what keeps us going. We’re made to live for something greater than ourselves day in and day out. But when you’re about to lose your ever-loving crap in in the middle of the mall because it was so difficult to get a haircut for Lifa… perspective and purpose get lost in the circumstances.
That same Monday night, I went to sit on a panel for Arise’s Adoption Family Forum. The topic was “Adoption and Siblings”. I hoped my counselling degree would kick in because I felt wildly unqualified for this panel. We haven’t introduced a sibling to the family just yet!
Arise presented excellent research and resources, and I shared stories of our family. In the midst of it all, I got some perspective. All the days and nights I was trying to _get through_ so that, one day, I’d _get to_ my purpose were actually the very moment’s God would use for His glory.
He’s been stockpiling His glory in my most mundane moments.
That Monday night, He released that glory in a room full of adoptive and adopting parents. It was the exact flavor of glory necessary for the gathering of like-minded people who were living out the gospel message of adoption - and had experienced a lot of days when that beautiful message is a hot mess of meltdowns, brokenness and things you don’t post on Instagram. There were fears, questions, concerns that God gave me stories and wisdom to speak from. He showed me that I bear the umami-glory of what was needed that night because of our journey to become a family - and all of the days and nights that comprised that journey.
While I offered Biblical counselling to an anxious, struggling foster mother… And shared wisdom I didn’t even realize God had given us with families in the middle of transitions… I could see it. The darkest nights and the deep lows of learning how to become a family were the places that refined us and made us strong. The daily routines we’ve wrestled into place - and continuously put all of our energy into - started as scaffolding and became the ladder that has taken us strength to strength.
Despite feeling beyond myself at the beginning of that day, I realised I have something to say because of the days I didn’t have a platform. Purpose is shaped, stored and lived out during rugby practice, teacher meetings, play dates, homework, discipline, hard talks, habit reshaping, dinner making, and the thankful game.
On the crap-losing days… The ones with a man-eating to-do list… On the perspective-less ones that feel impossible… Those days are your days. The days God is stockpiling your special glory-flavor in your spirit. There will be moments right there in your normal rhythms where He will release it because you’ve got it in you. Keep doing all the things, and play the thankful game when you remember. And know that the King of Kings is stockpiling His greatness in your everyday messes. You are in motion toward your purpose as long as you keep going and stay sensitive to His guidance.