NaNa Love
My NaNa - the family anchor, the grandmother made of perfect, and the person I begged God to let me see one more time before heaven - passed away on March 17th. I was a broken-hearted granddaughter, daughter and mother on this Mother’s Day. The ocean between the other part of my family and all of my tears was enough to drown me.
NaNa love was the very best kind of love. It wrote a legacy through generations by doing exactly what love is supposed to do: it taught us how to love and be loved. NaNa love made it safe to screw up and never question your worth. It laughed and celebrated. It was a busy love that never stopped thinking about you and had a constant Dollar Store collection in the closet with your name on it. NaNa love insisted on feeding you- whether the food has expired or not. It never had to look for a silver lining because it could only reflect back the shining gold you didn’t even know was in you.
I’ve grieved over and over again about my kids not growing up around NaNa love the way that I did. I still mourn them not having cousin slumber parties or the opportunity to sell all of NaNa’s possessions back when hosting a garage sale in her living room. I wonder if I’ve gotten it all wrong...
After a weekend of crying and a long walk with my husband, I’m starting to let Truth reshape my heart. True love, the love NaNa would be proud of and lasts eternally, raises kids who know the One where NaNa love originated. Because when you know True Love Himself, then you can love and be loved wherever you live. I want my kids to know a love that saves, redeems, heals, blesses and forgives again and again. A love you can always come home to, no matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done. Raised up in true love, my kids will live in a love that celebrates them so hard they believe they have something to give to this world and something to build for the Kingdom of God. I know God’s love so well because I was loved so well by NaNa.
I still get sad that my kids won’t know about NaNa’s fruit snack stash or be a part of cousin talent shows every weekend. But I’m starting to understand that the greatest anchor and root system I can give them is in Christ. They will be able to love and be loved by their cousins, grandparents, friends, and family no matter the distance because their roots go so deep.
Mom, I miss you. I cry often because my kids don’t see you every day. But I’m starting to understand that you can be the NaNa from wherever you are. You were trained by the best!
My mom, sister and NaNa