When someone else can see you
Two steps forward and one step back... Sometimes it seems like one step forward and four back... anybody with me?
Photo from texts I send to David’s wife when I lay on the ground and try to catch my breath after a session…. before the children find me.
I started online personal training with David in April. (Here’s the story from when I started.) He pushed me to my limits from day one and quickly had me breaking personal records that took me years to get to on my own. In the midst of training with David, I’ve hit the end of myself mentally, physically and emotionally a time or two in the past few months - separate from my weightlifting. These lows have kept me from getting the workouts I expected of myself. There were some sleepless nights, some days of fasting and praying, and a few wild storms that prevented me from keeping our outdoor training sessions.
I haven’t given up. I feel myself getting stronger. I’m healthier and in better shape than I’ve ever been. But there’s a bully in my brain that tells me I’m not doing well enough, not pushing hard enough, and not ever going to make it further than where I am right now because of all those setbacks. Surely every other person in the world reaches goals without an off week or two, right? I should be breaking personal records every single week, right?
This week, when it was time to load the bar for deadlifts, I asked David what I should start with to warm up. He gave me a big, joy-filled smile and said, “85kg - and give me 7.” (That’s 187 pounds!) I grunted, groaned and pulled that weight. As I pulled, I realized something...
I was warming up with more than I could lift before.
We all start somewhere.
Before I started working with David, I was stuck at 80 kg (176 lbs). Despite physical setbacks, believing all the wrong things about myself, and life, I was warming up with my previous personal record. Two sets later, I broke my personal record and deadlifted 105 kg (231 lbs) FIVE times. Benjamin was cheering from the window, while David yelled, “Let’s go Benjamin!” Later, Lifa commented on my primary deadlift roar, “Um yeah, I could hear you. You were pretty loud.”
The progress is slow. There was brokenness and backsliding along the way. But I started with David with more than I could finish with alone. My warm up was more than my max when someone could see me.
We strive and we struggle better when someone can see us. Whether it’s weightlifting or real life. You lift heavier when your cheerleader has his toddler face pressed against the window and you have a trainer who believes the best in you. When you can’t silence the bully in your head, get some loud people around you. The right kind of loud! And then pull that weight so hard that your primal roar comes out and overpowers your thoughts too!
Thank you, David, for you constant encouragement, expertise and pushing me beyond my best!
David Sandala is an international online personal trainer. His family are among are closest friends here in Cape Town, and his love for fitness, family and Jesus are obvious even through Zoom. To become better than you best, click here to contact David. He will meet you where you are and take you further. No equipment or experience required.