I took what I had and called it holy.
I started taking a weekly sabbath when I was in graduate school. I had a roommate who was always took a weekly, 24-hour sabbath. It blew my mind. It’s in the Bible... but I couldn't believe that people actually did it. (Betty Lee the roommate is a total legend.)
For me, a sabbath is simply a time to refrain from working as a declaration that God is the Almighty One, and I am not. When I first started practicing a sabbath, I was 22 years old, single, in school full-time, working full-time, and working an extra 40+ hours/week for free as a therapist to complete the hours required for my degree. There were already not enough hours in the week, but I figured I could give it a shot. Maybe it was like tithing. With tithing, even when you don’t have enough money to make it, when you give God your first 10%, that leftover 90% stretches further in your faithfulness.
I loved it. I became a die-hard sabbath-taker. I planned my whole week around it. Back then, I went to church on Sunday evenings. I worked in the therapy clinic on Saturday mornings and had loads of studying to do over weekends. I forced myself into weekly shutdowns - no work, no grocery shopping, no laundry, no errands - on Saturday evening and not pick it back up until after church on Sunday evening. I would often work and study late into the night on Sundays, but I was so charged and ready for the week because I had started with my priorities in line.
I kept the practice up, but it changed over time. I’m a true introvert, so my sabbaths always had a good amount of silence and alone time. Sometimes I would have long Bible-reading and journaling sessions, and sometimes I would read fiction novels and eat chocolate. But every single time, I stopped what I “should have” been doing to say, “Hey, God. I know you’ve got this.” When I moved to South Africa, I struggled to find new rhythms because I was always surrounded by people. I found them though. Through headphones, a care package with Starbucks Via packets, and a picnic blanket. Later, I found a safe way to go on long solo hikes (with Gerry the giraffe from my wedding photos).
When Lifa came into my life full-time, it seemed like my glorious sabbaths were coming to an end. Sleepless, single parenting in a foreign country with a lot of things working against us was zapping me. I was desperately in need of the perspective and restoration I found in my weekly sabbath rhythm. Gradually, I made the decision I could sabbath with Lifa. I just had to let them be different than they had been before. Lifa needed sabbaths too.
I was just talking to him on a walk the other day about our pre-Dad Saturday mornings. Lifa had his own set of headphones and would get to watch a movie from my computer while I had a long quiet time. I would make him warm, milky rooibos tea, and I’d drink lots of black coffee. Finally, when Lifa was starting to wither up and die from starvation, I’d make a huge breakfast. Then, we’d go off on a drive or adventure together. It was so lovely!
I struggled with keeping consistent sabbaths since marrying, moving again and again, and then having Benjamin. Right now, I’m using every waking moment for productivity: taking care of the kids, house, writing, exercising, or working on something for the Help Club for Moms. When Benjamin is asleep and I am awake, I am at my computer. I feel my capacity being stretched, my joy in the Lord increasing, and the rest of me fraying from fatigue.
Today I told Chris I felt behind on everything from last week and didn’t know how to manage what was coming in the week ahead of me. I was too exhausted to make sense of anything, and I had to make dinner by 7am or it just wouldn’t get done. I knew what was missing was that moment of giving my work back to God and pausing before Him. I decided to make the morning with Benjamin a sabbath morning. I felt depleted of energy, but staying home with a toddler bouncing off the walls while Chris tried to work was not going to solve the problem! We’d go outside, see something new and explore.
Cape Town’s BEAUTIFUL V&A Waterfront is a full-functioning harbor and essentially a mid-morning ghost town due to the tourism industry being shut down. Benjamin was giddy with the adventure ahead of us. He had never seen boats up close, and was shocked when he heard water lap under his feet while he tapped his tennis shoes across a dock. We took time to linger, look and even listened to some stinky seals bark while they sunbathed. I spent our money on coffee I didn’t have to make in a cup I didn’t have to wash, and I bought a toasted sandwich so Benjamin could snack on the crust and Lifa would have a mess-free lunch prepared when we picked him up from school. The cleaning, craziness and hustle resumed immediately when we got home. But we had still done it, and I felt like I had taken a step in putting God first.
Single, grad school Sabbaths look very different than wife, mom, ministry sabbaths. But I wonder if taking a few minutes to wonder at the stinky seals and making one less coffee and one less sandwich can be received by God the same as the two very small copper coin was from the widow? (Scripture reference below)
I was in over my head with the week, the responsibilities, and time - with not a lot of wiggle room and not a lot to give. So I took what I had -a couple of hours with Benjamin - and I called them holy. I set them aside to be God’s. I could have done the exact same thing and not made them a sabbath. But today, that stinky seal and that boy with wonder-filled eyes were a part of me realigning myself with the Creator of heaven and earth, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. And that makes it holy.
Luke 21:1-4 NIV
As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. [4] All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”