My real wife life.
This is a short article I wrote for the Help Club for Moms for our final week of the “Love Your Husband Challenge”. As I’ve intentionally prayed for our marriage during the challenge, we have been stretched, strained and grown in some beautiful ways. This post was written specifically for wives and the Help Club audience but there’s truth in it for any person at any stage of life. Love you all! ❤️
My husband's job is to help a church grow and develop leaders. I was one of the leaders he was scheduled to meet with yesterday, but our meeting wasn’t in a relaxing coffee shop or quiet office. It was in our nursery. My husband put together a new toy, our little one bounced off the walls, and I sat with my notebook in hand and tears in my eyes. Our meeting ended with him feeling like I had not been prepared and me feeling like I had not been heard or respected.
I was angry and offended. I wanted the same understanding and encouragement other church members received and a meeting without a toddler’s interruption. My mind filled with familiar demands and selfish thoughts, “What about me!?!” Dear mama, have you been here before? Do you ever get offended when an interaction with your husband doesn't go as you'd hoped?
Over the course of our marriage, I have learned (often the hard way) to take my offense to God first. My flesh wanted to storm into my husband’s office to make sure he understood my perspective. I can recognize when I am out of line when I’m most concerned about myself. At that point, it doesn’t matter if one is right and one is wrong. It is an issue in my heart.
After our meeting, I confessed my offense to God and asked Him to help soften my heart. I prayed for my husband, his workload, and the difficult balance between work and home life -- especially in a season where much work is being done from home. My perspective didn't change immediately, but I was able to release my burdens by turning to God in prayer. I put myself back in line with God’s will for my life by praying for my husband instead of positioning myself against him. When your heart is hurting from your husband or another, you can always go to God to ask Him to help you soften your heart and pray for that person.
Later, my husband came to me and told me he wanted to take ownership of the mishaps in our meeting and wanted to make sure his family received the same care he gives out to others.
Beautiful wife, I didn't pray for my husband's change of heart. I prayed for mine. It is our role as wives to love, respect and honor our husbands, whether circumstances are ideal or not. God changes soft hearts that are submitted to Him. He changed mine when I asked, and I believe my husband's change of heart had something to do with my prayers for him.
"And now let me speak to the wives. Be devoted to your own husbands, so that even if some of them do not obey the Word of God, your kind conduct may win them over without you saying a thing. For when they observe your pure, godly life before God, it will impact them deeply." -1 Peter 3:1-2 TPT