God is on the monkey bars. `
Benjamin is my ride or die. I take that kid with me wherever I go. We sing Raffi (circa 1989) in the car together and adventure through forests, mountains, puddles and playgrounds.
Benjamin Lee Ladd is a full-on extrovert. Chris and I are two very introverted people with two very extroverted children. How does that happen!?! Benjamin has become very shy since COVID began. I’ve shrugged it off, noticing all the kids dealing with it and assuming he’d warm up sooner or later. Sure, he is the very last to warm up in every social interaction with kids his age, and he never really warms up until they’re gone... but I’m sure it will be fine. We just keep going. Keep putting ourselves around people and keep socializing.
Benjamin loves to be around people. He rides in a carrier on my back when we shop, and, always turns every head. He flirts, waves, and relishes in the people passing by. He eventually turns my head toward him, pulls off my mask, and gives me a big kiss on the lips as an overflow of his extroverted joy. All the people... it’s like his drug! Yet every single time someone comes to him for direct interaction, even someone he knows and loves, he shuts down and turns away. He tries to make himself disappear and curls up into my arms. I can feel the energy it’s taking him to manage himself in those moments.
Last week, we went for a morning walk in the park between errands. He waved to the people on faraway benches, blissfully chased birds, and tried to catch high flying airplanes in his hands. There was one moment that felt very different, however, when someone walked by him and greeted him directly. I felt his little world stop. It was right then that I felt a discerning poke in my spirit, gently showing me there was more going on in our sweet boy than leftover lockdown shyness. I felt God speak to me through an impression - gentle but clear, fleeting but firm-standing. We need to pray against social anxiety in Benjamin. It was like God was warning me that seeds were threatening to take root. I already know we have the authority and blessing to uproot those seeds and replace them with Truth through the Holy Spirit in us. Lifa is a living testimony to that.
I wasn’t afraid or sad. I was thankful. I was thankful that I had stopped my busy whirlwind life to create enough space to be aware of what God had for me to see that day. Who knows how many of those opportunities I’ve missed lately. I was thankful that He loves our little Benjamin so much He goes before him, knowing he has parents that pray and can write blessing over curse.
Benjamin probably has a predisposition to anxiety. And he definitely has direct access to the Healer Himself through the prayers of his parents and the blood of Jesus. If God is willing to stop a mom on a jungle gym, I wonder what He is willing to do for you? Today I’m praying you don’t miss His voice or an opportunity to partner with God to rewrite blessings over curses. He is faithful, and He is for you.
