The Right Kind of Done
Chris was on the trampoline with Benjamin. Benjamin was hurdling his body from one side of the net to the other, ricocheting like a wrestler in the ring. Chris kept his knees bent, lightly moving up and down so Benjamin could "jump" with his dad. I stood beside the trampoline scene with deep joy and great conviction. "I'm done," I told Chris while he half-bounced. He looked a little nervous.
I was quickly approaching the end of a two month push to edit, re-produce and print a Help Club Bible study for moms in South Africa, develop a national leadership team, and host a big event at church. I had been sitting at my computer and on my phone for too many hours a day while balancing home and family responsibilities. My neck and back were sore from more sitting and less exercise.
There is a time and season for everything. Chris and I had pre-decided that the beginning of this year would be a building season for ministry. We'd work extra and be gracious when other things had to be pushed to the back burner. We committed to not stay that way and move into the next season as soon as possible. His season of working 7-days a week ended about a month before mine, which made my schedule and speed seem extra ridiculous.
I've been running on fumes, caffeine and vision for future. But, that afternoon by the trampoline, I could see the end of the whirlwind. Our new books were in print (WE MADE A BOOK!!!), and the church event was approaching quickly. The weekend would be completely packed with ministry, and I was ecstatic about it all. But after that, I was done.
It's tempting to think you need to do more when what you're doing is working. For some, it's working more to make more money that they will never have time to enjoy. And when it's ministry, you can be temped to think, "If God is blessing it, maybe He wants me to keep doing more." It's a slippery slope. I was thankful we had pre-decided as a family that we will always return to order, always family.
If things are off-kilter, they grow crooked. I didn't want a sideways life, warped mindset, or healthy ministry and a hungry home. My "I'm done" was peace in my heart to be done with the season of overdrive and return to order. I haven't completely figured out the downshift. There will be other seasons of pushing, building and growing. But, for now, being "done" feels like a sacred space to honor God, my husband and enjoy my kids without an undercurrent of stress and exhaustion.
The world puts value on accomplishment, growth, and things "working". They say, "Well done!" When you host a successful event or make a book. But the "well done" I'm looking for and living for is the one at the end of this lifetime. There's no quota or Return on Investment Report. The "well done" I look forward to is heaven's hoorah at the end of a life lived imperfectly, yet abundantly. It's closing my eyes for the last time knowing I loved and was loved. It's my caring Savior taking my hand and saying, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!"(Matt 25:23)