A Soul Snack
Written on Monday, June 26
It's a new day in South Africa! President Ramaphosa is leading us carefully out of a month-long level 4 lockdown. People can gather in small groups, and kids can go to school with some extra precautions in place. Lifa was JAZZED to go to school this morning. Benjamin, however, lives his best life on lockdown with his brother's full attention.
We've taken a few hits during this month of no social gatherings, minimal structure and historically violent civil unrest in South Africa. Close friends have been sick, lost family members, and suffered from violent crimes. The economy is buckling, and people are weeping at our door daily in physical and financial crises.
I've wept for the suffering of others, for personal losses and from sheer exhaustion. I've been diligent to lean into the Lord. I'm up every morning at 4:30am with coffee in hand to warm the frigid winter mornings. I squint into Scripture, pray and sit with my Savior. Somewhere along the way, however - maybe it was when the nation and my cellphone exploded with unrest - I couldn't find the peace Jesus promises in the middle of a storm. I feasted on the Bread of Life, drank deeply of Living Water, yet I stayed thirsty. I stayed hungry. I stayed tired.
My soul got tired. I fed it the news, the needs of my children, and let my thoughts linger on earth level for the majority of the days. I prayed for people's pain, but focused on the pain more than the Healer. I wondered if He would... if He could... actually do anything in such chaos.
Today after I dropped the boys at their schools, I decided to feed my soul. It would be pointless to schedule a bunch of meetings, work on admin or writing, or plan the next Help Club event. Nobody wants to work with a tired soul. Or a cranky mother.
I went to a beautiful cafe I've never been to. New, beautiful places fill my bucket every time. I ordered a coffee, put on my headphones, picked up a pen, and prayed Scripture because my own thoughts weren't trustworthy enough.
We are on a perpetual spending freeze, but I ordered breakfast anyway. Smashed avocado on sourdough toast with roasted and fresh tomatoes, with a soft poached egg on top. I don't even eat bread. But sometimes your soul needs a little sourdough.
It was my own version of the story in John 21. The disciples were bone-weary. The One who they gave up their lives for... the One who was going to save them and their people had died, along with their hopes and dreams. Despondently, they went back to their boats, and stayed up all night fishing. They caught nothing.
I cannot fathom the condition of their hearts or the thoughts in their minds as they drug themselves in, yet I can relate on a minuscule scale. Right there on the beach, right there in that coffee shop with the beautiful water feature, Jesus said, "Come and have breakfast with me." We all did. Bread and fish for the disciples. Avocado sourdough and a poached egg for me.
I went to the beach for a few minutes after that. It was empty except for a few surfers in the water. Cape Town has over 4 million people. This was truly a gift from God on a warm winter day. I sang so loud, so off-key, so whole-heartedly to my Savior. It was such a restoring morning.
I pulled my toes out of the sand to pick up Benjamin. He tantrummed for a solid two hours of the afternoon. Chris stayed in his office doing his own thing. Lifa was too tired to talk, had a tutor coming, and wanted to workout. I wish I could say that holy morning carried me through.
You know how it feels when you haven't slept well in days, and then you get one good nap? It feels so good, and you're SO much more tired. Your body gets a little taste of much-needed rest and demands more.
I tasted the Lord's goodness today. I remembered the sweetness of His presence. My soul had a snack, while my Savior beckons me to continuously feast in His presence.
Isn't it funny how I thought sacrificing a WHOLE morning after a month of wearying should "make me better"? It ignited my craving for Him. It reminded me to choose how I prioritize my time, what I give my attentions to, and what I feed myself.
My soul snack created a spark in me. That's all I need to get a fire going again.
What's your soul snack? What sparks you, and makes you feel alive? Plan for it this week, and "taste and see that the Lord is good"! (Psalm 34:8)
