Monday Mall Grace

Yesterday, we had a "How the heck do you parent a teenager!?!" day. It was normal, non-extreme growing up stuff that leaves a mom awake through the night wondering if she's single-handedly ruined his life. My emotions are exponential right now thanks to pregnancy hormones, so Chris had to be the sole adult and handle the situation with grace and wisdom. He nailed it. He's an awesome dad, and Lifa is an incredible young man.

Lifa has been saving money to buy sneakers for a while. He earns a small allowance each week for his regular chores with an option to make extra money for bonus jobs. It's been a long journey of calculating, research, pre-shopping, and thinking through the perfect style. After MUCH thought, he decided to go all out and save for the perfect shoes - hightop retro Reebok pumps. It would take much longer than he wanted to wait, and he also dreamt of adding a silver chain and clothes to his new look. But he put his eyes on the prize and committed.

Yesterday... the same day as the teenager wobble... Chris' brother and sister-in-law sent a message saying they wanted to buy sneakers for Lifa. They sent enough money to buy the Reebok pumps! When I picked him up from school today, I was still unable to shake my irrational fear, worry and heaviness. I hadn't even been able to bring myself to talking to him about the hard stuff. Instead, I told Lifa, "We're going to the mall!"

One overly-emotional pregnant mom, a super-charged toddler, and an awe-struck teenager took on the mall on a Monday evening. We bought the last pair of Reebok pumps in Lifa's size while Benjamin reverberated through the sneaker store. Lifa felt like a king when he wore them right out of the shop. We went a a jewelry store, where I broke a full sweat while Benjamin tried to slam his dump truck toy through the very delicate shop. Lifa bought a chain with the chore money he'd saved. It was better than any of us expected!

I took the boys out to dinner at a restaurant in the mall with a playground so Benjamin could burn off the rest of his energy. Lifa and I both felt different in a way we didn't expect to. The lightness of the evening was such a contrast to the heaviness of the night before.

That light feeling came from the free-flowing, undeserved love of family on the other side of the world who said, "You deserve this just because you're you." They didn't know that we all needed a reason to come around that very truth. Joy crept in and knocked the hurt out of my mama heart as I got to indulge us in a special meal, celebrate the things my kid loves, tell him he deserves this and more, and champion his dreams.

Isn't that the way darkness always flees from our hearts? The undeserved, inexplainable love that comes from being a part of the Family of God always celebrates who we are, even when we can't find a reason to. Our Heavenly Father doesn't worry about our wobbles, but delights in championing our dreams. He'll do whatever it takes to help us get there.

There's a time to work through hard things, and there's a time for Monday mall grace. Today we did both of those things, but the grace came first. Whenever there's hurt, shame or fear involved, grace always has to come first. After being seen, celebrated and lavishly loved, Lifa was happy to finish the hard conversation with his dad. He still went to bed smiling, all topped up on grace and love.

Thank you Uncle Patrick and Aunt Lauren. You played a bigger role in Lifa's life tonight than you know!

And thank you to all of you who have been His hands and feet to our family. We learn about His love through you. With your help, our kids will too. We love you!

Look at this handsome grown man!