2019: Puberty and Purpose
Happy New Year!
We are now just over a week into 2019. The gym is crowded with people making videos and taking selfies of their resolution wins, and Lifa can’t wait to start Grade 6 in tomorrow!!!
I met a friend for coffee just before New Year’s. The first thing she said was, “I hate New Year’s.” The seemingly inescapable time to reflect and look ahead revealed a deep soul hole. She could celebrate some great events from 2018, but that only seemed to make the hole a deeper echo of the purpose and passion she couldn’t find. She seemed to wish she could start 2019 invisible.
Another friend has spent hours in our backyard with Chris, desperately trying different approaches to who he’s going to be and how he’s going to live. His inability to decide where to live only reflects the unsettledness that goes much deeper.
There are so many people trying to figure out who they are going to be in 2019. And then there’s Lifa.
We’ve entered puberty, guys. I’m just going to be real – we’ve got some highly awkward, moody, broody moments in the Ladd house these days. If anything can mess with your sense of identity, it’s those raging adolescent hormones and embarrassing body changes.
Several weeks ago, we sat Lifa down and told him we thought he was going through puberty. It started like this:
Chris: “Lifa, do you know what puberty is?”
Lifa: “Yeah, it’s when you have to go to the bathroom a lot.”
Me: Trying to hold it together and not shout, “POOPERTY!”
Chris: “Good guess bud….” Goes on to maturely explain puberty.
We talked through mood changes, body changes, sexuality, and I got right down to the science of proper names, fluids and body parts of both women and men. Yesterday, I re-visited the conversation with Lifa and did a puberty check-in with him. I was amazed at how open he was to talk about it – even though it is still very awkward – and how self-aware he was of his mood changes. This kid just turned 11. And there was something borderline secure in the most insecure topic of humanity.
When we woke up fully rested on January 1st (because we went to bed early!), we cracked open the “New Year Kit” my sister had sent for Lifa. It is an AMAZING printable book made by Big Life Journal that facilitates 2018 reflections, goal setting for 2019, and even a development of self-awareness for habits, stress, and exercise. Lifa blew me away with his gratitude and self-reflections.
2018 was not his perfect year – and 2019 won’t be either. Quite frankly, we’re in the midst of a physical, spiritual and emotional battle daily. And there are times when I have to resist the urge to lock him into his room until his brain finishes developing. But, just 3 days into his 11th year, Lifa was able to reflect on what he’d struggled with in 2018 and decide on what kind of young man he wants to be. He was able to look me in the eye and share that he had heard a word from God and even seen it in his dreams. And that kid is putting it to work, y’all.
He still bites his nails and forgets to say “ma’am” and “sir” – two habits he decided to track daily. But he’s building strength. He’s giving it his all to grind out those five push-ups three times/day. But even more than building physical strength, he’s opening his Bible every morning and holding on tight to his word from God. He’s got a plan, and it is to shine the glory of God everywhere he goes this year. He’s got a family who will do everything in our power to champion him through it. And that’s what we were made for.
I think about the overwhelming amount of people around us that we’ve shared coffees, conversations and backyard time with recently. The ones whose wheels are spinning and holes are deepening. The ones for whom a new year seems intimidating, almost mocking. They are missing something that is available even to a pubescent 11-year old boy. But that’s the good news!
It’s available. It’s accessible. It’s strength found in God’s voice speaking love as a banner over your life. It’s having a vision for your life that’s bigger than yourself. It’s the strength in having people around you to champion you when you fall back into your hole or lose your sense of direction.
Can you see those man-sized feet soaking up the surfers, sunset and a favorite family spot from his “Wave Chair”?
The good news for those who are missing those things: All you have to do is ask. It’s a guaranteed “YES” from your good, good Father. If you’re in Cape Town, we’re rolling out the banner this year that says it all: Love Jesus Church. God’s perfect love and a group of imperfect people to champion you into it. If you’re not in Cape Town: find a church and your banner.
I’m not counting on 2019 to be a flawless, perfect year. Currently, it’s 5:30am, and I’ve been awake since 2:45 with pregnancy insomnia. I have Neosporin and band-aids on my knees from falling down like a small child while leaving church – in the wind, in a dress. And we have zero clean towels in our house. But deeper than the inevitable bags beneath my eyes today is hope of how available God is for us all this year. We’re calling down a lot of miracles because we desperately need them. And the good news is that He designed us to need miracles because He wants us to need Him.
Your impossible situation and the very deepest of eye bags or sore souls is not enough to keep you away from the refreshing, restoring and healing love of God. Seven days in to 2019 is the perfect day to ask for a word, a purpose that goes beyond yourself, and for a group of people to champion you through it. This is your day! Happy New Year!
Our family is praying for our friends, family and anyone who stumbles across this story that this is a year for you to be filled with great purpose, promise and hope. We pray you find your people, and you become someone’s people. You were made for great things!