"Do you want to go on a ride?"
Yesterday was a low day in the Ladd house. The smallest crisis was that I planned the entire day around going to pick up an oven rack - sending measurements to the shop after getting my call dropped 38 times, locking boys in car parked right outside of the shop so they would stay virus-free, waiting in a social distancing line to get into shop, the whole thing - AND THE OVEN RACK WAS THE WRONG SIZE WHEN WE GOT HOME. We’ve lived one full year in this rental home with a very small oven with one rack. I often make dinner in shifts starting at 6am. Something has to be done. According to me. Nobody else’s life was affected that much by my crisis. Chris was on a run and then had a great meeting, and Lifa and Benjamin cackled in the car while listening to the third Lord of the Rings book. This actually has nothing to do with the rest of my story.
The real news is about high schools. In Cape Town, there are more students than schools, and applying for high schools comes with an unfathomable amount of pressure. Each school has different strengths, weaknesses, makeups, and costs. We spent weeks touring campuses and completing applications. There’s been a lot of build up to this week - when high schools release their round 1 results from applications. It’s round 1 because each child has to apply to at least 3 schools and then report back to the schools which accepted them with an answer within a week.
Yesterday we found out that Lifa didn’t make round 1 of one of the schools we applied for and another school contacted us for copies of our residence permits. If you’ve followed our family very long, you know that we’ve got a complicated residency situation. Lifa fluctuated between nervous energy and deep despair for the remainder of the day, finally sharing he just wanted “to know the results so he could deal with it and move on.” It was so sad to hear our handsome, capable, intelligent, set apart 12-year-old feel so overwhelmed and so out of control. He’s so young.
I wish I could wipe away all disappointment from his life. But instead we get to teach him how to manage it. As Lifa’s body and identity develop, so do his mind and his spirit. This is the perfect time to be disappointed - under the safety and security of your parents’ roof and with decisions that don’t determine the rest of your life, even though he might feel differently!
Yesterday Chris asked Lifa, “Hey man, what if I told you I was going to take you on a crazy ride but I didn’t tell you where we were going. Would you be excited or scared?” Lifa looked at his dad and said he’d be excited. Chris said, “You know you’d be safe with me because I’ll take care of you. Your life is like going on a ride with Jesus and you get to be in the front seat. He’s always taken care of you. He loves you and has set you apart for something great. Me and Mom are in the back seat cheering you on and making sure you keep your eyes on Jesus and on what’s ahead of you. You don’t have to be afraid if He’s driving you. You just get to enjoy the ride.”
We practice managing disappointment. We learn to live in the unknowns. We can frame is as fearful - or we can enjoy the ride. I am so thankful for my man’s wise encouragement, and hope Lifa (and all of us!) can hold on to it during this uncertain season of life. The Ladd Family is cheering you on! Keep your eyes on Jesus, and know He’s got good for you.