It’s a ridiculous story about a Pop Tart and a snail.
My sister is very pregnant, and I’m dyyyyyyying to touch that belly. I want to celebrate pregnancy milestones with her so badly I’ve started craving what I ate while I was pregnant. (Note: I am definitely not pregnant! It’s just a very weird way I’m responding to missing my sis!)
The Ladd house stayed stocked with Newport Deli’s 100% rye bread during my pregnancy for my inevitable 1am snack. A few days ago, I found myself back at the deli swiping the last loaf of 100% rye. (Benjamin promptly decided he was so starving he would die if he didn’t eat 1/3 of a loaf of his mom’s bread.) Chris loves the date balls there, so I got his 2 favorites and started perusing the imports section for a treat for Lifa.
Lifa recently witnessed Chris and I having a heated debate about the best Pop Tart flavor. Chris is a strawberry guy. I am a brown sugar and cinnamon gal. We no longer eat sugar at all, and the whole conversation was absurdly emphatic. But when those silly things come up, I’m grateful for something to be silly about and for a man to share memories from my home culture with. We always try to describe childhood tastes and places to Lifa - Chick-fil-a, the unbelievable amount of choices of breakfast cereal and fast food restaurants, cafeterias, high school football games, free refills, chips and salsa at a Mexican restaurant, cookie cakes, and on and on.
Newport Deli had POP TARTS! The “treats” I usually buy for Lifa are things like a flavored yogurt instead of plain - and that is dessert! There were no strawberry or brown sugar and cinnamon Pop Tarts at the deli, but there was blueberry. And I miss my sister, so Lifa was going to eat a blueberry Pop Tart. The logic there is clear, right?
I made a big deal out of that little package of two Pop Tarts that seem much smaller than I remember. I poured him a glass of milk, and popped those blueberry masterpieces in the toaster. They immediately got stuck, so I did that thing they say not to do. I stuck a fork in the toaster to try to get it out. Finally, I put the toaster upside down and shook it until one Pop Tart + a collection of Pop Tart pieces + A SNAIL came out. I left the snail to his own devices, and put the Pop Tart collection on the plate...
It was a big scene. I took out all my feelings on the toaster as I shook it free of Pop Tarts, snail and crumbs. But Lifa LOVED the Pop Tart, and he loved being invited in on a shared memory from his parents’ home culture.
Sometimes Pop Tart escargot is the best you can do when your love is spread all over the world. But I think that was pretty good. (Lifa agrees!)
