Yesterday was supposed to be Lifa’s first day of high school. South Africa is still on nationwide lockdown, so his much-anticipated high school debut has been postponed.

Our teenage social butterfly is stuck at home with an absolutely crazy toddler and a mom who is still not operating at full speed post-Covid. He has no devices to distract him, and we are spending A LOT of time together. It’s the Lifa and Benjamin show all day, every day. And it’s such a good show.

We did it! We did it! We did it! All 3 of those “We did it’s” count because here’s what we did:

1. We packed up an entire house, moved, and unpacked it all over again...

2. WHILE Chris worked 18 hour days to get things in order for church online, and I was kickstarting our new virtual Help Club Bible study…

3. WHILE Benjamin and I had COVID.

Happy New Year from the Ladd family! News seems more extreme than ever on the global scale. Thanks for taking a moment to zoom in to our little corner of the world. We have much to share with you, and we can do it with pictures and bullet points! Here’s some noteworthy news from us. HINT: Hang in till the end or skip ahead: The last part is the best!

Thank you for praying for us after I wrote this blog. I didn’t leave Home Affairs that day with the miracle piece of paper I was hoping for, but I did leave with a miraculous peace. Here’s a quick article I wrote for the Help Club for Moms about it. Three days later, I’m still consumed by joy and peace. It just took one exhausted encounter with God, and I truly feel like I’ve been forever changed.

Take that, devil.

This was not the miracle story I intended to share with you today. (Another great reason to extend miracle week!) But there’s a real-time reason I chose this story to share with you - and even post it a day early. This is a testimony and an invitation. Both of our boys need birth certificates still. This has many implications on our everyday lives, as well as the big picture….

I’m the queen of efficiency. It’s a blessing and a curse. Everybody at my house knows if you can’t keep up with Mom, you might just get run over. (Including Benjamin’s ball..)

Days are calculated to the minute. Months are planned in advance. I rarely do one thing at a time. Lifa enters the kitchen like a soldier marching in to receive orders, and Chris stays out.

It’s Thanksgiving in America today. Wherever you live, I hope you give thanks. It changed my life, redeemed my hope, and infused my home with joy. Life may be hard today, but God sets the table for you in the presence of your enemies. (Psalm 23.) Find one thing to be thankful for today. And watch this video!

Thanksgiving was our first holiday as a married couple. At least it was to me. It is not a recognized holiday in South Africa, and Chris could easily unrecognize every holiday! He was under great stress from work when I mentioned its approach. (I still haven’t mastered the art of timing important conversations!) He was overwhelmed already, and hastily responded, “I don’t want to deal with it!” I cried over a bowl of leftover chili on the 4th Thursday of November that year. (Not our newlywed moment.)

We’ve got a major pandemic on our hands over here, guys. I think it’s more contagious than COVID. It’s “the problem” pandemic. My home was recently caught it, and it drove me bananas.

A VERY widely accepted sentence starter in Cape Town is, “*The problem is…”* You hear it everywhere you go. Lifa unknowingly started engaging conversations as a platform for his problems.

I stopped eating sugar three years ago. Yet I keep making those dadgum No Bake Cookies every year as though they are the recipe for joy. The great news about 2020 is that we get a fresh start on EVERYTHING. We get to re-think how we do things and why because every.single.thing. is different.

It is harder than ever to make a decision in this age of unlimited access. Ideas and opinions fly from every direction, a thousand miles a minute. It’s not just family and friends putting in their two cents anymore. It’s the whole wide world. I can EASILY spend all the time I have to play looking up the best activity for kids. I spend all the time I have to read or write looking up helpful resources I’ll never utilize…

We all know 2020 has been a very different kind of year. As I think ahead toward this holiday season, I see that I am different too. In a year of forced isolation, I have nurtured a stronger faith, healthier marriage and wider community than I could have imagined. 2020 pulled out the weeds, slowed down the traffic, and kept us home to do the hard work. We get a fresh start for the holidays. All the old rules and old ways are out the window!

When I was a freshly-degreed young woman, testing the waters of adulthood, I looked life straight in the eye. I knew where I wanted to go, how to get there, and nothing would stop me. I did not, however, factor in life. People, circumstances, sin, suffering, and all of my ickly-prickly shortcomings.

I recently went to a mall to pick up a gift for a friend. I had a toddler strapped to my body, a mask on my face, and bags in each hand. I glanced at a window display of women’s clothing and thought, “That is a store for grown-ups.”

It can be draining to be the safe one, the one who always gets the worst of someone. To keep giving them your time, care, compassion, kindness and love, when they’ve spent all of theirs elsewhere. Your kids. Your spouse. Your whoever. The people that feel safe with you often give their best to the world and bring home what’s leftover. But you know what? I don’t want my boys to bring their emergencies and intimate needs to the world.

I’ve recently asked a few friends this (potentially very weird) question. Chris and I have always had as very defined evening routine since we started our marriage with a 7-year old. It’s that “after the kids go to bed” time of day that we haven’t nailed.

It’s very valuable to Chris to have time to unplug in the evenings. He relaxes by stretching out on the couch, going quiet, and watching TV or videos. Those are all of my least favorite things. I crave “plugging in” with another adult. I’d rather go to bed early, trading unwinding for actual sleep. Screens and shows overstimulate me and drain me. Do you see the issue here?

When Chris and I started dating, we already had a 7-year old. We would often have special “date nights” after Lifa was in bed. (He used to crash by 6:30!) We’d pull out beautiful ramekins, cutting boards, and plates. We’d create amazing tapas spreads and have the most romantically casual meals together. We loved trying new things, making it look beautiful, and tasting life together. It was our thing.

Last week, as my sister’s one-million hour labor began, I felt that familiar sensation in my tear ducts as my heart stretched to another hemisphere. I haven’t seen my little sister-mama in five years. We’ve both reproduced since then! As sweet Evie-baby was slowly making her way into the world, I was having sympathy pains, speaking nonsense, and chucking my to-do lists out the window. We were having a baby. It just could not be a regular Tuesday.

I lived in the same house for my entire childhood. My mom and grandma operated a preschool there during my youngest years, and it was always the gathering place for friends and family. We lost that house and everything in it during a fire when I was in college. I still remember walking through the ashes and feeling like there was no longer evidence of who I was. My parents were divorced by that time, and we never re-created a “home base”…

My oldest son is preparing to go to high school, while my youngest one still rides on my hip. As I look at my boys, I often wonder what stories they will tell their children about the home they grew up in. If I keep trying to do everything, I’m afraid they will only remember a frazzled mom without much to show for it! Instead of trying all the things, I’ve decided to start small. I asked myself, “What is one area, one meal, or one routine that I want to breathe life into in our home?” For me, it was dinnertime.

Because it’s Friday, and it’s fun!