Ladies and Gentlemen, the Ladd Family is HOME.

We’ve been like the three bears from the famous Goldilocks story since we moved to Cape Town. The first house was lovely, but not in the right community for our family. The second house was in a great community, but was far too big once we made the decision that most church-building events would take place outside of the home.

I grew up surrounded by cousins. Vacations, holidays, sleepovers, Saturdays… anything fun happened with cousins in tow.

My cousin Carli has been my lifelong closest friend. We spent our childhood making radio shows, being fake Avon ladies on fake phones, coordinating jumpers and jellies, concocting absurd recipes for cooking shows, spying on the grown-ups with disposable cameras, feeding NaNa the yellow and green fruit snacks we didn’t like, and creating clubs, rules and games that always put our male cousin counterpart, Chaz at an impossible disadvantage. We still find the occasional mix tape, hilarious photo, or the newspaper we created in the treasure trove of NaNa’s house – evidence of the precious gift of cousins.

Here it is, world. The Internet’s first up close and personal interview with Lifa. I thought his would be the most qualified voice in the Ladd Family to celebrate Father’s Day, so I (Mom) interviewed Lifa on all the ins and outs regarding dads and why they are important. 

The hero of our house is 35 today! Read a few mushy lines about why we celebrate him, and then leave Chris a birthday message in the comments please! We love you all and are so thankful you’ve come by.

Last year, we spent Father’s Day weekend tucked into a frost-covered tent under a blanket of South African stars. Our first six months in Cape Town had been challenging. Our souls needed the refuge of wide-open spaces. We drove three hours outside the city, hoping and praying that the campsite Chris found through a very extensive online search would be that refuge. We had reserved a campsite called Echo Valley, nestled perfectly inside of a mountain hug and at least one mile away from anyone else on the private nature reserve, Gecko Rock.

I’ve wanted to write a beautiful, adjective-smothered story about our amazing camping trip ever since we pulled out of the campsite last Tuesday morning. But the week didn’t go the way it was supposed to. (According to me.) It’s been almost a month since my womb released our baby girl 35 weeks too early, and we gave heaven a free one. I expected that, after a month, I would be able to type that sentence without weeping. I expected to be back on track physically. I expected to be better by now.

Our perfect little Ladd baby has already left a legacy in our family. In holding her and letting her go, we are changed forever. We can say with resolution that we are a family who pre-decides and re-decides every time we need to that our God is good. We rejoice, whether happy or sad, when heaven is populated. While she is rocked by angels in everlasting life, we get to give our lives on this earth for the purpose of populating heaven.

It’s 5am in South Africa, and it’s Lifa’s birthday! 

There’s a pink-swirled sky, and I’m pouring through pictures of baby Lifa before his 10-year old self wakes up. 

On Monday night, we told him we were going to have pap, beans, cabbage and beetroot for dinner the next night. And he could eat it with his hands. His eyes lit up, and he said, “It’s like it’s a birthday dinner!”

It’s been six years, three months and one week since I started the long drives to take Lifa to visit his biological father. Along the way, the oh-so-handsome Chris Ladd stepped in like a super hero to take the steering wheel, take my hand, and take the lead for our family. Together, we re-committed to God to preserve Lifa’s relationship with his father and his culture. 

When I picked Lifa up from school on Friday, I told him it was an extra special day for our family. I re-explained guardianship and let him slowly process it, Lifa-style. I explained that nothing really changes for his daily life and asked if he had questions. 

Three sets of folded legs sat in a shaded circle in Cape Town. Three sets of hands plucked blades of grass and doodled with twigs in the dirt, mirroring our internal fidgeting that day. Our family gathered in Chris and Lifa’s favorite Frisbee field to talk to Lifa about what to expect before we took him to visit his biological father.

We don’t know many people in this city yet, and South Africa doesn’t know Thanksgiving. We are our pinching pennies (or rands), and the table is tiny in our current rental house. And all of my placemats and tablecloths are in a storage unit in Johannesburg until February.  This is not the proper recipe for a Hallmark Thanksgiving special. 

Cape Town: It’s enchanting; it’s amazing; it’s a bucket list city.  We didn’t move for the views, the adventure or the charm. We moved to Cape Town to live in Cape Town because we see something more beautiful here than sparkles and fairydust. Before we tackle the day’s life stuff, all three of us sit down with Life Himself, and we pray for this city. We know that Jesus has a big, abundant plan for this bucket list city.

We do our best during dinner table talk to keep Lifa’s father as the hero every dad deserves to be to his son. We do everything we can to stay in close contact, despite the distance, language and culture gaps. Dads are important.

It may seem outlandish to compare the issues of humanity to a sunset walk on the beach with your husband. But maybe it’s not if we put things into perspective from the proper vantage point.

What if we don’t have to hold the whole world in our hands? What if we just use our hand to hold another?Or if we just give up a sunset for someone else to experience a love beyond what we could create on our own? What if we had fun with someone because they’re worth it?

When she was totally spent and totally out of words, Busi said, “Eish… That cornbread. I’m going to miss that cornbread.” 

“Me too, Busi. I’m going to miss eating cornbread with you. But I’m going to keep making beans and rice and cornbread for Sunday Lunch wherever I am, whoever I’m with. And I’m going to keep having church with that cornbread. You do it too."

This “Mom and Dad Date” is a ZINGAAAAA, y’all. We’re going to the other side of this nation, to a city very different from the one we now call home. We are going because God has asked us to come see, explore and pray there as we prepare for a church.