I have no idea where this will go, how this will grow, but the vision I see is big, beautiful and transformative for generations to come. If you’ve got a bit of time, watch this week’s Thankful Thursday video and pray for moms in South Africa to be reached. If you don’t, pray for us on the go! We love you lots!!

I didn’t know what to do with a newborn. I needed my mom. Lifa needed his mom. My body and my husband’s mental health were shutting down. I desperately sought refuge in God’s Word through the YouVersion Bible app - the easiest thing to hold onto while caring for a baby. I found incredible encouragement through a plan by the Help Club for Moms there and decided to do a little research on their website.

Suddenly, there was help! There were moms! There was hope! I didn’t know how much moms needed moms and people needed hope until I ran out - until I was stuck half a world away from my mom and didn’t know how to be the mom to the kids living at my house.

Training with David Sandala: He brings you to the end of yourself, and then adds a drop set. He helps you destroy your own personal records, and then tells you to pick up weights for your power jumps. My hands are destroyed, and my body is tired. But I feel amazing! I deadlifted 100kg (220 pounds) FOUR TIMES! That’s almost two Lifas!

The week between Christmas and New Years feels like a wonderful secret. You don’t have to clean up Christmas decorations yet. You don’t have to go to work. There’s not a lot of have-to’s. The whole world seems a little off schedule. I wanted to steal a few Saturday moments to say hello and share with you why there’s been no Ladd Family stories or Friday Fives for a while. Spoiler alert: there is finally no “you should write a book about this” reason! No one got hit by a car, needs surgery, had a baby, is dealing with major corruption, or is up to their ears in legal drama this time.  Yippee!!

Sometimes we only see grace in hindsight, but it’s always there. I know that because Jesus left heaven to come to conquer every unconquerable in this world and give you the grace you need for today. Look around today, and you’ll probably find that you’re walking in the exact kind of grace you need for today. 

I love Thursday mornings. I buy beautiful flowers, roll out a tablecloth, and spread out scrumptious snacks, tea and coffee. I sprinkle board books, blocks, and baby blankets throughout the living room. At 10am, our house fills with moms and babes for Cape Town’s first ever Help Club for Moms. 

Five years ago, I was buying bricks and building a house. Not just any house - a house named Glory House. Glory House was a vision from God - a way to live out the purpose He shaped me with. To be Mom of the house in order to strengthen families and build His family… A lot has changed since then! 

On Sunday night we sat in our living room with two cooing babies, a toddler with her art supplies, and a couple of couches full of real people. One woman had left her husband that morning after learning that the adulterous relationship from 2013 was still active. Another woman came late because she had a sick child and was caught up in the boughs of an unbearably oppressive home life. Another family is getting ready to welcome baby #3 into the world and has no idea where this baby's car seat or crib will fit into their very compact life.

I wanted to exclusively breastfeed so badly. I wanted a squishy baby, enriched by the supernatural nutrition from my body. The first few weeks were perfect. Normal newborn exhaustion, joy and the generalised sense of “I have no idea what I’m doing!” We nicknamed Benjamin “Big Chunk” because he was gaining so much weight. Then, I started having extreme pain in my breasts during and after feeds. Long-lasting, lightning pain. Personality altering pain. My milk was obstructed due to a cocktail of  stress-induced tension and a hormonal imbalance. The less milk that flowed, the more pain there was. Simultaneously, Benjamin stopped making gains. His weight fell severely under the line, which compounded stress and meant he needed to feed more. Thus, a problematic cycle was born.

This weekend, I had the most beautiful, wonderful, lovely baby shower! My darling friend, Kelly asked me months ago if she could host it for me. Even then, it took my breath away. Somewhere in a subconscious vector of my mind, I had written in some self-protecting mechanisms. I’d created disclaimers for myself and others to minimise expectations and disappointments.

I initially felt disappointed when there were not enough participants for the Personal Growth Course I was scheduled to teach it at [Arise Family Centre](https://arisefamily.org). Only two ladies showed up for the first scheduled class last week, so instead of using notebooks, whiteboards and therapeutic techniques, we pulled up chairs and chatted.

I knew one lady well. I spent a good amount of time with Granny V before.

I woke up to my first South African sunrise exactly nine years ago from today. I was ready for anything on January 15, 2010 – and sure it would be the most fantastical 6 months that my 25 years of life had ever known.

I couldn’t have guessed I’d still be here 9 years later living out an entirely different adventure with a handsome Tennessee husband, a dashing South African 6th grader, and a sweet baby ninja-boy growing inside me. The most fantastical thing I did in South Africa today was learn how to make my own yogurt… which turned out amazingly!

There are so many people trying to figure out who they are going to be in 2019. And then there’s Lifa.

We’ve entered puberty, guys. I’m just going to be real – we’ve got some highly awkward, moody, broody moments in the Ladd house these days. If anything can mess with your sense of identity, it’s those raging adolescent hormones and embarrassing body changes.

I can think of no better way to complete this week of looking back at God’s faithfulness than with a miracle! This story from November 2012 celebrates being a part of one of many food multiplications I’ve been able to watch God do. He is so good, and He never runs short. Remember that this weekend in whatever you find yourself doing!

I'm so excited about this week! In my previous story (Learning How To High School), I shared my current battle between reasoning, questioning and just plain remembering what is TRUE by remembering what God has brought us through. I'm celebrating God's faithfulness and welcoming in even more of His goodness this week by reaching back into the archives and posting stories on our website that have never been seen there before! This is one a personal favorite... and it's about CAKE! Please enjoy this story from August 24, 2014.

We’ve got two major things going on in the Ladd house right now:

1. We’re growing a baby. (12 weeks!!! I have an extremely awkward pooch!)

2. We’re prayerfully expecting my South African legal status to be cleared in the hands of our very capable lawyer. (If you’ve not heard of the legendary lawyering of Craig Smith or kept up with the visa saga, sign up here for our Friday Five. The handsome Chris Ladd delivers our family’s weekly top 5 in a way that always entertains.)

Thank you for your prayers, comments and encouragement from the story I wrote about crying on my closet floor. Since then, we’ve celebrated 3 years of beautiful marriage, hosted a wonderful bunch of people for my 34th birthday, and Lifa got his first bloody nose at a rugby practice. He felt like he had finally become a man.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Ladd Family is HOME.

We’ve been like the three bears from the famous Goldilocks story since we moved to Cape Town. The first house was lovely, but not in the right community for our family. The second house was in a great community, but was far too big once we made the decision that most church-building events would take place outside of the home.

Three and a half years ago, I spent a week as a guest in glorious Cape Town, studying ministry development. I interviewed local leaders and social workers all day, and headed straight for the beach afterward. (Perks of the job – and this city!) I wondered aloud with the friend on the towel next to me why that other American, Chris Ladd, was sending me so many messages. We ate sushi almost every night while dreamt of and diagrammed ministry models….