I had so much fun this evening with the Help Club mamas! The wild winter storm outside downgraded the quality of the video, but the audio was just fine. It was so special to have a semblance of sisterhood in my frigid bedroom a billion miles away from my actual sister.

I shared a parenting revelation at dinner last night. My husband’s response was, “I could have told you that.” It’s true, but we cannot all be as wise as Chris Ladd. This mere mortal needed to experience it to really get it.

Chris and I pray together every night before we go to sleep. A few nights ago, he started praying for our boys to have abounding peace and joy in their lives - freedom to live fully and abundantly without fear. This is a big and powerful prayer for a man who looks depression and anxiety in the eye daily and engages them in battle.

Time for a mom brag: Lifa is awesome. You might have read in previous posts lately that we’ve been doing a lot of walking. While we’ve walked, we’ve been feeling a lot of feelings and learning a lot of lessons. Lifa is going to HIGH SCHOOL next year! Can you even.... I cannot...

I’m putting everyone to bed at 8pm tonight. That’s in 25 minutes! Yay! Benjamin has been asleep since 7 because sleep training WORKED. He also had a very busy afternoon of playing rugby and Russian kick dancing in the front yard with Lifa. Super weird. I laughed uncontrollably.

**cover image from Dineplan- Andy’s Sushi Bar

We get it wrong OFTEN as parents. But I love weaving moments of silly celebrations and sushi into Lifa’s story. I hope he looks back on those moments and tell his children about the time his dad said he could have sushi for breakfast on Sunday morning.

Yesterday was a low day in the Ladd house. The smallest crisis was that I planned the entire day around going to pick up an oven rack - sending measurements to the shop after getting my call dropped 38 times, locking boys in car parked right outside of the shop so they would stay virus-free, waiting in a social distancing line to get into shop, the whole thing - AND THE OVEN RACK WAS THE WRONG SIZE WHEN WE GOT HOME. We’ve lived one full year in this rental home with a very small oven with one rack. I often make dinner in shifts starting at 6am. Something has to be done. According to me. Nobody else’s life was affected that much by my crisis. Chris was on a run and then had a great meeting, and Lifa and Benjamin cackled in the car while listening to the third Lord of the Rings book. This actually has nothing to do with the rest of my story.

Me; “If you could only have 2 kinds of drinks and 4 kinds of food for the rest of your life, what would they be?”

Me: “Water and coffee. Chicken, kale, oats and peanut butter,”

Lifa: “Water and bubble tea. Sushi, chimichanga, Mom’s BBQ pulled pork, and that cheesey sandwich thing we order.” (Pork, pineapple, cheese trammezini from a local restaurant.)

We harshly judged each other’s answers, and I informed him that he would be coming to me begging me for nutrition in less than two weeks.

Lockdown Level 3

Today South Africa’s lockdown conditions have shifted from Level 4 to Level 3. That means more businesses are able to open, WE GET TO EXERCISE ANYTIME WE WANT (from 6am - 6pm instead of 6am - 9am), and schools... Guys... schools.

We started yesterday with devastation. Today is the day Lifa was supposed to return to school.

Have you had one of those mornings where you CAN NOT GET OUT THE DOOR!?! It’s very cold and rainy here, and we are only allowed out of the house between 6-9am for exercise. Chris is making a hard-earned comeback from a hamstring injury and goes on a solo run every morning. I am in charge of the broken elbows and the toddler, plus all the essential items like rain gear, rice cakes, face masks, and locking down the house. I took this photo to represent one entire hour of very active preparation to leave the house for a 30-minute walk.

Here’s a firsthand interview with Lifa on the highs and lows of his quarantine experience.

Mom: Lifa, it’s been 76 days since you’ve been to school. How do you feel about that?

Lifa:I feel ready to go back to school. I feel like we haven’t been to school since time began... like, it’s been a long time. (With nervous smile) I feel kind of tired of... well, I’ll just say of being at home.

Wet bicycle tires. Cycling with dogs on a leash. Oncoming car. Moment of panic. Squeezes front brakes by mistake.... Lifa went flying. Poor Lifa took a big, hard hit yesterday when he flew over his bicycle handlebars and fractured BOTH elbows.

I’ve been thinking a lot about blessings and choosing what kind of legacy to write into your family and the generations ahead of you. I don’t want to react to my life and see what people say about it at the end. I want to write the blessings I want to impart on my children and grandchildren in advance. I think it will help me stick to the script as life happens.

Last week TWO different people told me Benjamin and Lifa look alike...  Spoiler alert: They are not biologically related. This is technically impossible.

 Yet, somehow, they kinda do. Benjamin’s all-time favorite person is Lifa. Chris and I got trumped by big brother a long time ago. The moment Benjamin sees his brother, he erupts into shrieks, squeals and laughter. It’s the best!

The holiday season has ended, offices are opening, and the world is going back to normal. But we just received a Christmas package from my mom. And while I write this, I’m looking at six 12-year old boys (on one couch - with an empty one right next to them) chattering about Christmas gifts and watching Spiderman. We’re clinging on to Christmas morning and special family moments as long as we can over here! So, as you go back to work and un-holiday your house, I’m going to share a Christmas story.  

We’re in a unique season of life right now. We’re trying to navigate one kid away from sharp edges and outlets, and help the other kid navigate who he’s going to be when he’s not at the dinner table or on the rugby field. Benjamin is currently teething and a hot mess. I like to employ the distraction technique: keep everybody too busy to whine. Myself included. Yesterday I slathered sunscreen on Benjamin, strapped his fussy butt into the stroller and took Lifa and a friend to play putt putt golf beside the ocean. Mama needed to smell the ocean. 

It’s been a down and out kind of week - all the sick people and the broken-boned boy. But you know what we’re thinking about? We’ve got people. We’ve got amazingly supportive friends in Cape Town and an army of supporters around the world who make it possible for us to pay out of pocket medical expenses. We have a brave, tackling boy who gave it his all on the field. Lifa has dealt with a lifetime of fearfulness. It’s understandable, but it has handicapped him. Now he is physically handicapped, but free as a bird! We are so proud that he was not afraid to put it all out there with the bigger boys. He’s found his feet - even if he had to break one in the process! 

Tia and 14-year old Ray visited us last week. There aren’t enough words to put to it - two miracle families finally coming face to face after one pivotal dinner and years of facebook messages. Chris and Lifa had never met Tia, and none of us had met Ray. Lifa was just happy their names were easy to spell for the chalkboard. He had no idea what was coming. 

Things feel a little messy over here. And I’m not saying that just because Benjamin pooped on my jeans this morning. 

Rugby games and outreach opportunities are being cancelled because of a rise in gang violence. We’ve had to hire anotherlawyer to the Ladd Family Lawyer Team (ridiculous, I know) to protect us from a reckless landlord. Everyone in the house (except Chris) is breaking out because of hormones. And no one has legal recognition in South Africa (except Chris again). My fingerprints were rejected TWICE by the FBI while I’ve been trying to get paperwork taken care of for our immigration lawyer. 

The expert reveals all: Interviewing Lifa after 3 months of being a big brother