I had a hard time rendering my stubborn heart to God this week. I found myself desperately dwelling on things I hope for rather the His perfect love. I continuously brought my dreams to God but had a hard time leaving them with Him. Like a child, unsure if she has her Father's attention and tugging on His robe to say, "Did you hear me? Are you gonna do it? Is it time yet? When is it going to be time?"

I'm sitting in the counselor’s office at Lifa’s primary school…

Last weekend we remembered a weekend in history that changed everything: the curse reversed, death died, and we were set free forever. On the heels of my Creator shutting down the sun, shaking the earth, and allowing His Son to die for me, I’m still distracted by my struggles and pridefully trying to tackle problems in my own strength.

Today's call to worship is an excerpt from a famous sermon by S.M. Lockridge. Enjoy your day, and remember that Sunday's is a coming! 🙌

I made an angel-friend last year. The kind of friend God sends to you when you need to be seen in a way you can't see yet. I would pump breastmilk in the car on the way to meet her, hold teeny-tiny Wyatt, and drink an extra large coffee while I sniffled and stammered about not knowing how to be a special needs mom. She was the one I could be very raw with and say I didn't WANT to be a special needs mom. I could ask the questions you're not supposed to have and feel all the feelings I didn't think I should feel with her.

I told my friends on the Help Club for Moms team that I was ready to start writing for them again…

Finally, it was two days before my first deadline, and my mind was still blank. On top of that, I felt completely overwhelmed by my own kids. I sent up a quick prayer for help as I dashed off to a play date that I was sure would be a disaster. IT WAS. Total disaster. But wouldn’t you know that my God met me in that mess?

My mom just spent seven glorious weeks with us in Cape Town. We said goodbye last night, and she is on a plane back to America now. Mom stayed in the apartment connected to our house, and Benjamin asked to go to "Gosa's house" every morning as soon as he woke up….

Happy New Year! To tell you the truth, I can hardly remember the last weeks of 2022. Wyatt got strep throat, a virus and then a sinus infection. I had mastitis. My mom came in town. And we moved! My 2022 ended at 10pm because I knew 2023 was going to start early, and I was already wildly sleep-deprived. But here we are now, all settled in to a beautiful place God has provided, cherishing moments with my mom, and enjoying a Cape Town summer together. We are healthy, and the small people are finally sleeping again.

There was a lot of a lot in 2022. Here's a "Year in Review" in bullet points!

If you read our last update, you might have seen that we are fundraising to buy a family van. What you might NOT have seen is my stomach lurching and face twisting when I asked our beloved friends, family, and people of the Internet for help.

We have been sustained as missionaries in South Africa by people's giving for almost thirteen years. THIRTEEN YEARS...

Kacy: "Hey Benjamin, do you think God gave you special powers?"

Benjamin: "YESSSS!"

Kacy:"What are they?"

Benjamin: "VEGETABLES!"

Welcome to the Ladd Family Update! If you're reading this, THANK YOU. We are so grateful for a relationship with you and a few minutes of your time. We hope to hear back from you and have an opportunity to invest in you - you matter!

Chris called me with a chuckle in his voice when he arrived at the church men's retreat to tell me he was bunking with Ted Mirtle. "TED'S MY MAN!"

Ted and Margaret Mirtle have been married for 58 years. Their hands and hearts are softened from years of praying together. We look forward to seeing their ever-bright smiles each Sunday morning for church.

Life has been eating my lunch. I’ve been one breath away from a breakdown as circumstances and needs with Benjamin have escalated…. and the rest of life didn’t stop to accommodate! I’ve seen the roughest edges and lowest lows within myself in the last weeks. It hasn’t been pretty.

Finally, last week, time stopped just long enough for me to ugly cry and write an unfiltered letter to God. I didn’t write it to publish but to clean it out of myself. But since wiping away the mascara smears, scooping up the baby, and carrying on with life, I’ve not been able to shake the feeling that I should share my very personal letter here.

I turned 38 yesterday and had a very sweet birthday with my four favorite guys!

I've officially entered the stage of life where it takes effort to remember my age, magnifying makeup mirrors are a no-go, and my metabolism gets a good laugh when I think about losing extra "baby weight". Watching all my hair fall out from postpartum hormones really just seals the deal. 👌

I grew up in Texas . Country music was always on the radio, and my family played penny and nickel poker when we got together. Maybe that's why Kenny Rogers' lyrics played through my mind on Wednesday when I just didn't know what to do.

We had a baby! And we officially miss you.

It's high time for a Ladd family update. Let’s jump right to the highlight reel, shall we?

WE'VE GOT SO MUCH TO TELL YOU!

Some of our communication has been sparse lately, but it's not because we don't have anything to say. And it's certainly not because we aren't thinking of you, praying for you and thanking God for you. My mom is landing in Cape Town in less than 48 hours. I'm reverberating with excitement and a ninja baby in my belly. The goal here today is not to be poetic, but to get to the point... with bullet points.

It's exactly nine weeks until our little boy's due date - April 10, 2022. My prediction is that he will come a week late, just like his brother, and I'll go into labor on the Saturday night before Easter Sunday. I told Chris to get a backup plan ready for church!

His name is…