This is a short article I wrote for the Help Club for Moms for our final week of the “Love Your Husband Challenge”. As I’ve intentionally prayed for our marriage during the challenge, we have been stretched, strained and grown in some beautiful ways. This post was written specifically for wives and the Help Club audience but there’s truth in it for any person at any stage of life. Love you all! ❤️

School has closed down again! The world calls is a global pandemic. Benjamin calls it his best life.

President Cyril Ramaphosa has closed all South African schools for the next four weeks with the exception of Grade 12 students taking only one week off and grade 7’s taking only two weeks off. That means we get our Lifa home with us for another two week holiday.

I could count the number of hours I’ve spent away from Benjamin since his birth on my fingers and toes. He gets plenty of time with his mom - especially since Lifa’s at school, Chris is working, and Benjamin and I are still social distancing for safety.

He’s developed supersonic senses for the sound of his dad coming into our room at bath time. They’ve developed their own language. He knows when Lifa switches the light on in his room and will barge right into the bathroom to greet him if he leaves the door cracked. Those two are Benjamin’s heroes….

We (Benjamin and I) have been up since 3am!!!!! All the exclamation points are from the coffee!!!!!! Today I’m sharing a story I wrote for Help Club for Moms as we read the “Love Your Husband Challenge” reading plan on YouVersion.

The other day, while I strapped my extremely heavy toddler into a carrier on my chest, I had a weird Mom moment. As I shifted his weight and thought about the progression of carrying Benjamin from a newborn to now, I habitually took in a big whiff of his skin pressed against mine. I love the smell of his skin. That’s where this rabbit trail began...

Hey wives or future wives! The Help Club for Moms is reading the Love Your Husband Challenge YouVersion Bible reading plan right now. Jump in with us! It’s only a 9-day plan, and we’re spreading it out over 3 weeks, so you’ve got plenty of time. Check out www.helpclubformoms.com for more info! I wanted to share something I wrote for Help Club with you. If you’re not a wife, pass it on to one! Love you guys!

The basic rules that apply to humans do not apply to Benjamin. Things like gravity, physics, awareness of pain and range of motion. Lately, our house sounds like this: “BENJAMIN, Shouldn’t you be afraid of SOMETHING!?!” - or - “BENJAMIN, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO DO THE MOST DANGEROUS THINNNGGGGGGGSSSSS!?!”

I had so much fun this evening with the Help Club mamas! The wild winter storm outside downgraded the quality of the video, but the audio was just fine. It was so special to have a semblance of sisterhood in my frigid bedroom a billion miles away from my actual sister.

I LOVE Cape Town! I love South Africa! I love living here with my family. And I haven’t seen my mom or sis in almost five years. Many people who have played intricate roles in shaping me have never met my children. With a global pandemic in full throttle, 4th of July snuck by me this year and social isolation is kicking homesickness into high gear.

I shared a parenting revelation at dinner last night. My husband’s response was, “I could have told you that.” It’s true, but we cannot all be as wise as Chris Ladd. This mere mortal needed to experience it to really get it.

Currently, I’m listening to:

One neighbor’s perpetual weed-eater,

Another neighbor’s toddlers on bikes in front of our house,

My husband’s booming Tennessee accent on a phone meeting,

Benjamin announcing the end of nap time from his crib,

The video I just made for Help Club playing in the background,

And a kettle boiling for my 89th pot of coffee.

Happy belated Father’s Day! We had so much fun celebrating Chris yesterday! He woke up to an AMAZING handmade card by Lifa - broken elbows and all. (He’s on the mend! Hardly wearing his slings at all anymore.) Benjamin and I wrote him a card, and we all proudly marched up to Dad’s desk before he got busy with 3 online church services.

**cover image from Dineplan- Andy’s Sushi Bar

We get it wrong OFTEN as parents. But I love weaving moments of silly celebrations and sushi into Lifa’s story. I hope he looks back on those moments and tell his children about the time his dad said he could have sushi for breakfast on Sunday morning.

Here’s a firsthand interview with Lifa on the highs and lows of his quarantine experience.

Mom: Lifa, it’s been 76 days since you’ve been to school. How do you feel about that?

Lifa:I feel ready to go back to school. I feel like we haven’t been to school since time began... like, it’s been a long time. (With nervous smile) I feel kind of tired of... well, I’ll just say of being at home.

Ironic - and pitiful - truth: This weekend, I spent two full nights wide awake because I was worried about Lifa. (Broken elbow story here!) The ironic part about that is I was up hoping and praying we could keep him comfortable, meet his needs, and give him an extra boost of love and care while he recovers. But during the day, when the rest of the humans were awake, I was so exhausted that I didn’t want to prepare meals because I couldn’t bear the sound of any of them chewing. I’m not proud of this. I’m just being honest.

Wet bicycle tires. Cycling with dogs on a leash. Oncoming car. Moment of panic. Squeezes front brakes by mistake.... Lifa went flying. Poor Lifa took a big, hard hit yesterday when he flew over his bicycle handlebars and fractured BOTH elbows.

I’ve been thinking a lot about blessings and choosing what kind of legacy to write into your family and the generations ahead of you. I don’t want to react to my life and see what people say about it at the end. I want to write the blessings I want to impart on my children and grandchildren in advance. I think it will help me stick to the script as life happens.

NaNa love was the very best kind of love. It wrote a legacy through generations by doing exactly what love is supposed to do: it taught us how to love and be loved. NaNa love made it safe to screw up and never question your worth. It laughed and celebrated. It was a busy love that never stopped thinking about you and had a constant Dollar Store collection in the closet with your name on it. NaNa love insisted on feeding you- whether the food has expired or not. It never had to look for a silver lining because it could only reflect back the shining gold you didn’t even know was in you.

Tonight, my cranky, cross-eyed, chocolate-eating self is blown away that, a year ago, in a much harder season of life, I had at least one fleeting moment where God heard my prayer for wisdom and perspective. That is such a hope-filled reminder to me tonight that He sees us, He hears us, and He does give us the wisdom we ask for when we need it. Sometimes we don’t get it right for a moment, a night, or even a whole season of life, but we are loved by a God who is outside of time and space. He can help us to remember right now that our days are numbered and interpret our lives correctly. He sets wisdom deeply in our hearts and corrects our paths.