I always had great friendships while I was a student. I grew up learning how to make friends in intentional, Christian environments. That led me to making choices toward intentional, Christian friendships when I was in college and graduate school. It was those friendships - the ones where I chose to be intentional with other Christian women - that changed my life and helped me learn how to have a real relationship with Jesus.

Yesterday I shared that I was trying to think of a few small steps to change my overall direction - to keep priorities in order and my head on straight. Tomorrow I am experimenting with “No Phone Friday”.

Have you ever tried to make a change with no idea how to start? But you knew you needed to change? Whether it is health, marriage, family, or a bad habit, big changes are daunting. The minute I look at the whole enchilada of transformation awaiting, I feel overwhelmed and would rather curl up into a ball than start that ever-so-tricky and usually unrewarding step one.

Hello from Sleep Regression City! Little Jam and I are having regular late-night rendezvous in the nursery. The last two weeks have been a bit of a blur. I’ve grasped for quiet times with my Bible as much as I could, but have hardly cracked a page. Lifa (who does not sleep like a baby, but sleeps like a normal human being who sleeps all night) gets up at 6am every morning to have an uninterrupted quiet time.

Invasion of privacy doesn’t really exist in the Ladd house... because there’s not much privacy to invade. Chris and I share passwords to everything and copy each other in on emails or messages to a person of the opposite sex. All of Lifa’s online chats and access to devices are routinely checked. We see what kids are talking about, how they communicate and what is shaping their worldviews. Because of that, I want to say this to all the grown ups in the world:

Do you know the infamous “afternoon slump” as intimately as I do? The one that makes you turn to afternoon coffee, even though you know you shouldn’t and it won’t even help? The one that makes eyes so heavy, voices so cranky, and dinner so hard to make?

I turbo through my mornings with amazing efficiency, trying to get dinner made and the day’s tasks done before the afternoon slump hits (which also happens to coincide with every other human’s time of greatest need). My turbo mornings inevitably leave me even slumpier in the afternoons.

I’ve recently asked a few friends this (potentially very weird) question. Chris and I have always had as very defined evening routine since we started our marriage with a 7-year old. It’s that “after the kids go to bed” time of day that we haven’t nailed.

It’s very valuable to Chris to have time to unplug in the evenings. He relaxes by stretching out on the couch, going quiet, and watching TV or videos. Those are all of my least favorite things. I crave “plugging in” with another adult. I’d rather go to bed early, trading unwinding for actual sleep. Screens and shows overstimulate me and drain me. Do you see the issue here?

When Chris and I started dating, we already had a 7-year old. We would often have special “date nights” after Lifa was in bed. (He used to crash by 6:30!) We’d pull out beautiful ramekins, cutting boards, and plates. We’d create amazing tapas spreads and have the most romantically casual meals together. We loved trying new things, making it look beautiful, and tasting life together. It was our thing.

Last week, as my sister’s one-million hour labor began, I felt that familiar sensation in my tear ducts as my heart stretched to another hemisphere. I haven’t seen my little sister-mama in five years. We’ve both reproduced since then! As sweet Evie-baby was slowly making her way into the world, I was having sympathy pains, speaking nonsense, and chucking my to-do lists out the window. We were having a baby. It just could not be a regular Tuesday.

I lived in the same house for my entire childhood. My mom and grandma operated a preschool there during my youngest years, and it was always the gathering place for friends and family. We lost that house and everything in it during a fire when I was in college. I still remember walking through the ashes and feeling like there was no longer evidence of who I was. My parents were divorced by that time, and we never re-created a “home base”…

I’m an aunt! I have a niece! My sister really put me through it this week by laboring for 30 hours on the other side of the world from me. But I am thrilled to announce the arrival of the most precious baby girl on the planet, Evangeline JoAnn Branham. Literal perfection.

There’s a print shop right down the road from our house. They make all the random projects in my head do-able. I email them often, tell them my idea, and they work their printshop magic. I call the staff “Benjamin’s ladies”, and it’s always a treat to visit them. My latest project was brightly colored, laminated cards with pictures and my handwriting on them.

My oldest son is preparing to go to high school, while my youngest one still rides on my hip. As I look at my boys, I often wonder what stories they will tell their children about the home they grew up in. If I keep trying to do everything, I’m afraid they will only remember a frazzled mom without much to show for it! Instead of trying all the things, I’ve decided to start small. I asked myself, “What is one area, one meal, or one routine that I want to breathe life into in our home?” For me, it was dinnertime.

If you’ve been around me or my writing for more than a minute, you’ve probably noticed I talk a lot about the Help Club for Moms. I reached out to the leader, Deb, over a year ago and asked if I could bring Help Club to South Africa and “make it a thing”.

I’ve lost count of how many phone calls, prayers and encouraging discussions I’ve had with Deb and the Help Club team members since then. I’ve been honored to write regularly for the international ministry.

We were created for eternal life, therefore we want our earthly lives to impact the generations to come. I think that’s why I can get flustered by the mundane, repetitive motions of life: crumb cleaning, work commuting, zoom calling, laundry folding, diaper changing, car washing. I probably “should” say that every countertop you wipe down is for the glory of God. It’s true that it’s harder to leave a legacy on two months of toast crumbs. But also.... Maybe there’s more.

Because it’s Friday, and it’s fun!

(Sort of) Irrelevant Story: I met Chris’ mom six weeks before our wedding. When she originally booked tickets to visit her son in South Africa, she didn’t know she would meet her future daughter-in-law and grandson at the same time! I had been single parenting Lifa for several years, and Chris was still learning what he was getting himself into. Lifa was seven and wore a cape every day. We blared the song Uptown Funk every morning on the way to school. Chris invited us on a hike with his mom when she arrived in South Africa….

Have you ever felt stuck in an unending cycle of tired with no rest in sight? If you’re a mom, yes. If you’re past the age of mandatory nap times, probably. Chris and I had THE BEST DATE NIGHT EVERRRRR on Friday night. We were celebrating a new season of life. God making ways for us in ministry that are incredible. We chatted about the ups and down we’d been through since we got married while we drove to the restaurant. While we parked, Chris said, “But you know what’s different about this season? For the first time, we’re not doing it alone.” It was the perfect setup. He didn’t know that I had arranged a surprise - friends were meeting us there!

Last night was one of those nights where chewing was the loudest sound at the dinner table. Conversations were stifled, and you could taste the tension. Here’s the deal... Things have been GREAT! Chris and I are better than ever. I love him more deeply with each day. God has been opening doors, answering prayers, and we are completely overwhelmed by His favor in our lives. Annnnnnnd we have an 18-month old who is developing beautifully in all the appropriate ways. (Ie: sounds, spills, squeals, screams.)

It’s a fresh new week, and it’s time for a fresh face. No matter what last week (or last night) dished out, let’s pick up our shield of faith, remind ourselves that we have a hope that does not disappoint, and put on love.

**And, in my case, do whatever it takes to get that Monday makeup on.