I hope to write more about this soon. I shared vulnerably with our church and the Help Club Moms live on Thursday night about it. Last week in South Africa - the violence, injustices, and outrages circumstances that people I love found themselves in - it got to me. It hurt my hoper. I wrestled and struggled in a way that I never have. I poured my tears out and confessed my low place to my husband. I wrestled through it with his compassion and care right next to me.

There’s an update! There hasn’t been an update in a very, very long time! If you’re new here: YAY! I’m glad you’re here. You can catch up on the visa saga here.

Benjamin and I headed downtown bright and early on Monday morning, armed and ready with snacks, toys and passports in hand. We arrived in our immigration lawyer’s office on the 27th floor to sign some documents and get briefed…

We have started to love our silly Tuesday nights online. Chris and I pop onto the church’s Facebook page to do a live broadcast. It’s the best way we can “get together” with people during Covid. We’ve been in some version of lockdown since we started leading Southpoint Church, so it also is a fun way for people to get to know us. This week, we started our online chat semi-normally…

It’s not easy for an American pastor to speak to South Africa in the midst of heart-wrenching turmoil and civil unrest. It’s especially not easy when he’s addressing the question in everyone’s minds - whether fueled by fear, fury, anxiety, sorrow, or a storm of thoughts and feelings.. WHY.

Why is South Africa here?

Chris poured himself out before God to prepare this message, and it was so powerful. I listened to it twice because I needed it this week!

remain safe, but many lives and livelihoods are lost to fire and fury of epic proportions. The nation, hearts and hope have been shaking for 7 days.

I carried tension with me everywhere I went yesterday. I didn't know I was doing it, but I found myself over-stimulated, extra sensitive, and compelled to check in on friends I haven't heard from much since lockdown started….

We love having a prayer team of family and friends around the world. We’re calling in everyone for this one!

On Sunday night, President Ramaphosa addressed the nation to extend our Covid lockdown. Vaccinations are rolling out now, but numbers are still rising rapidly.

I think we’ve all tried to bargain with God before, even if it’s subconsciously. “God, if you will . . . , I promise I will . . . .” It’s so much a part of human nature that some atheists and agnostics do it when they find themselves in desperate circumstances. Chris’ message this week addresses this because God has so much more in mind for His relationship with you. And who ever keeps up their end of the bargain anyway?

This is a message that changed me. This is something God has been doing in me for the last several years, and I’ve been able to teach it many times to moms around the world in the last few weeks. Just last night, I taught this to an international mom’s retreat through Zoom, and got to encourage women fro Brazil, Ghana, Nigeria, America, Canada, South Africa and the UK. The spoiler alert is…

I was unsettled at the beginning of the week, looking for comfort, peace and something to make me feel good as we began another week of level 4 lockdown. I turned to God again and again, while simultaneously turning to my own abilities, lists, plans, comfort food, coffee, and on and on.

In an extreme time, you’ve gotta pull out extreme silliness too. We didn’t plan it, but sometimes a level 4 lockdown just brings it out of you! We were all thankful for a good laugh this week when I bought Lifa a sandwich the size of his little brother, and Chris bet him good money to finish it by the end of the night. The highlight reel is on my Instagram profile, and I assure you it’s worth the watch. But here’s something to whet your appetite.

My man brought another powerful and vulnerable message at church yesterday. He sliced through the baggage of guilt and shame many of us carry around and offered a hopeful, healing alternative. This one comes from God’s Word and his very personal walk. Check it out here!

It's still raining! We're still in lockdown! We're getting creative - and using A LOT of exclamation points!!!

Day 1 of this rainy lockdown was verrrrrrry long. That night, I knew things were going to have to be different - for the good of the people. Life looks different right now, so we have to live it differently. We have much larger workloads than than we did during our first lockdown, and both kids have very different interests and needs. And also... RAIN.

My husband bared his greatest life struggle in his sermon on anxiety this Sunday. He was even more candid than I expected with the painful details of his battle and the toll it took on our marriage. The first 5 years of our 5 3/4 year marriage were the hardest of our lives. We were hard-pressed on every side, literally facing life and death.

President Cyril Ramaphosa held a "Family Meeting" for the nation of South Africa on Sunday night to address the rapid rise of COVID-19 cases. The anticipated 3rd wave has arrived, and the government was quick and wise in their response! ALL social gatherings, including church and church-related activities, was prohibited for a minimum of 14 days.

Yesterday, Chris bared his vulnerability before his church and the entire internet. He gave an account of his anxiety that was so real and so raw, it shocked me. And I was there for it all! I am so proud of my man, and his story is one worth sharing. If anything, it might let you know you’re not alone on your darkest night. WATCH THIS!

Covid cases are escalating wildly again in South Africa. Borders are closing. Boundaries are being drawn in every area of life.

I submitted our last set of documents to our immigration lawyer yesterday to apply for mine and our youngest's visas. Here's to hoping Home Affairs doesn't close again and borders won't stay closed too long! We'd hoped we were at the end of our 6-year stint without seeing family, but we will just wait and see.

I'm a food tracker. In many seasons over the last 7ish years, I have used an app called My Fitness Pal to track what I eat. It started in an extraordinarily hopeless season of life when I just needed a win. There was very little I had control over at that time, but I could control my caloric intake. I set a calorie goal, and it became a game - a way to win every single day. An unexpected journey toward health began from that desperate game as I started losing weight and feeling better. VERY slowly, I started making intentional changes and realized that I was capable of so much more than winning a game of numbers and food portions. I could re-wire myself - mentally, physically and emotionally.

A story about the story: I wrote this article last week for Help Club for Moms, which is why it sounds a little more generic (appropriate?) than most of my other personal stories. BUT I wanted to share it with you here and tell you this one frenzied moment I begin with - and the way God met me in it - has intrinsically changed me. Forever. I think I said the same thing to Chris every night when we got into bed last week: “I’m becoming different from that one moment. I think God is doing something in me.” Isn’t He good? So, as you read today, I want you to take heart that God can change everything about you in the moments when you don’t even like you.