Sometimes finding a way to win is being really strong, disciplined, and overcoming obstacles. And sometimes it’s abandoning all the plans and expectations you had and operating within your capacity for today. This is a weird time, and it’s ok to not be ok. Just don’t be “not ok” alone!

Maybe you’re a mom, and you know all about that infamous “mom guilt”. Or maybe you’re a dad, a doctor, a friend, a spouse a student, a CEO, a truck driver, a teacher, or just a person trying to maneuver life since Coronavirus. We all pick up things that aren’t ours to carry. A lot of things try to name us. We instinctively look for our “job” or purpose in life, and we want to be good at it. We want to do good and be known for good.

Currently, I’m listening to:

One neighbor’s perpetual weed-eater,

Another neighbor’s toddlers on bikes in front of our house,

My husband’s booming Tennessee accent on a phone meeting,

Benjamin announcing the end of nap time from his crib,

The video I just made for Help Club playing in the background,

And a kettle boiling for my 89th pot of coffee.

Hello from Day 5 of the SAME LOAD OF LAUNDRY. Three loads to be exact. I’m just going to tell you up front: The Ladds are not awesome at managing laundry on a clothes line. One of these days we will own a dryer, but, for now, we are clothes line people. It’s winter and rainy season in Cape Town, and the drought has officially ended. This completely changes our (already weak) laundry game.

Chris and I pray together every night before we go to sleep. A few nights ago, he started praying for our boys to have abounding peace and joy in their lives - freedom to live fully and abundantly without fear. This is a big and powerful prayer for a man who looks depression and anxiety in the eye daily and engages them in battle.

Image from Passion 2020 YouTube Channel

We’ve been living slow and steady Corona-speed for months. We settled into it and started to love it. But yesterday, life hit the pedal to the metal! Chris left at 6:30am for a 10-mile run. By the time he came home, I had Lifa in school and was simultaneously brewing coffee, setting up for a video, prepping dinner and getting Benjamin ready for a nap. We had computers set up on opposite ends of the house, and Chris has a Zoom staff meeting while I recorded a live teaching for Help Club for Moms. By the time I was done, Chris was already gone to the next meeting and then went straight to church….

Yesterday I took Benjamin to the forest for the first time. It took just a few breaths of crisp mountain air and a couple crunchy steps to decide: Yes, he was going be the king of this forest. And, just like that, the world got one more Ladd man to chase down mountain trails. Benjamin wanted to run through waterfalls and giggled as gravity pulled him down the mountain path, no matter how much my glutes were screaming, “We just pushed a stroller and a small human UP this path. It is NOT time to go down yet!”

Happy belated Father’s Day! We had so much fun celebrating Chris yesterday! He woke up to an AMAZING handmade card by Lifa - broken elbows and all. (He’s on the mend! Hardly wearing his slings at all anymore.) Benjamin and I wrote him a card, and we all proudly marched up to Dad’s desk before he got busy with 3 online church services.

Time for a mom brag: Lifa is awesome. You might have read in previous posts lately that we’ve been doing a lot of walking. While we’ve walked, we’ve been feeling a lot of feelings and learning a lot of lessons. Lifa is going to HIGH SCHOOL next year! Can you even.... I cannot...

We are working on a big Father’s Day project over here, so today’s post is going to be short, sweet and to the point. It’s officially winter in Cape Town, and that means evening fires! The whole family loves sitting around the fire. But my man knows that I also really, really love a good morning fire. He got out of bed at 4am today, told me to take my time, and started building a fire for me. I came out 20 minutes later to find him working up a sweat and creating my dream morning.

I recently told Lifa about the stages of Benjamin’s development he has to look forward to. “Wait until we hit the ‘WHYS!” Lifa shook his head and walked away while I recounted his own “WHY” phase, pounding out every “why” with a wooden spoon in my hand. I explained to Lifa how important the”whys” were and how amazing it is to watch a child’s world expand with just a question. (And how you’d do anything to lock yourself in the bathroom with dark chocolate and noise-canceling headphones to not hear the word “why” one.more.time.)

I’m putting everyone to bed at 8pm tonight. That’s in 25 minutes! Yay! Benjamin has been asleep since 7 because sleep training WORKED. He also had a very busy afternoon of playing rugby and Russian kick dancing in the front yard with Lifa. Super weird. I laughed uncontrollably.

**cover image from Dineplan- Andy’s Sushi Bar

We get it wrong OFTEN as parents. But I love weaving moments of silly celebrations and sushi into Lifa’s story. I hope he looks back on those moments and tell his children about the time his dad said he could have sushi for breakfast on Sunday morning.

I have no idea where this will go, how this will grow, but the vision I see is big, beautiful and transformative for generations to come. If you’ve got a bit of time, watch this week’s Thankful Thursday video and pray for moms in South Africa to be reached. If you don’t, pray for us on the go! We love you lots!!

Last night was one of those nights. I was up the WHOLE night, gripped with unexplainable panic. Sometimes those nights become beautiful nights of prayer. And some nights they are just long and painful becauseI can’t kick the claws of anxiety. I get frustrated with myself and start a vicious cycle of getting anxious about being anxious. Then sleep is impossible. It doesn’t happen often anymore, but last night was one of those disappointingly, long nights.

Yesterday was a low day in the Ladd house. The smallest crisis was that I planned the entire day around going to pick up an oven rack - sending measurements to the shop after getting my call dropped 38 times, locking boys in car parked right outside of the shop so they would stay virus-free, waiting in a social distancing line to get into shop, the whole thing - AND THE OVEN RACK WAS THE WRONG SIZE WHEN WE GOT HOME. We’ve lived one full year in this rental home with a very small oven with one rack. I often make dinner in shifts starting at 6am. Something has to be done. According to me. Nobody else’s life was affected that much by my crisis. Chris was on a run and then had a great meeting, and Lifa and Benjamin cackled in the car while listening to the third Lord of the Rings book. This actually has nothing to do with the rest of my story.

Last week I announced we were going offline for a week to update our website, but our website guy (Chris Ladd) is busy this week recording two sermons for online church. He’s SO GOOD! So we’re still here, bringing you fresh Ladd family news and hopefully some moments of encouragement along the way. Today I’m just going to give you a few updates. Tomorrow I’ll try to inspire you.